a Muse ment

Please Doctor, Can I just stay one more day?

2011-06-12T22:19:00.001-07:00

I'm not sure why it's been so long since I've felt the urge to blog about something. I'm usually all about sharing more than you need to know about my life.

And speaking of more than you need to know, I had a hysterectomy last Thursday. Wow. That has been an experience. As I think about writing it, I'm tempted to stand up and walk away. But that would involving standing up, which involves getting dizzy, so I'll just stay here and write.

For a long time now, I've suspected that I might have endometriosis. So, the doctor and I finally decided it was time for a hysterectomy. We (the doc and I) were planning on taking out my uterus and my right ovary (since I have a lot of pain on the right side) and only taking the left ovary out if it looked like anything was wrong. I was secretly hoping there would be a good reason to take it out, and my wish was granted! It actually looked worse than the right side.

They say it takes five years from your life to have both ovaries removed. What they don't tell you is that worrying about that last ovary and dealing with the stress of hormones, etc. etc., takes ten years off (don't quote me).

Everything went wonderfully well in the hospital. I was on Morphine, Toradol, oxygen and IV fluids. I was very anemic with my hematocrit at 28, but with all that Morphine, who cares? Then they swooped in, took me off all those things, put me on Percocet, Naproxen and the traditional hospital water mug and sent me out the door.

By midnight at home, the room was spinning, I couldn't breathe and up came the wonderful dinner my neighbors had so generously brought our family earlier that night. I immediately stopped taking any and all medications they had given me and just reached for my trusty bottle of Ibuprofen. Turns out that seems to be just about enough (there are times I wish it was a tad stronger). Percocet shall never pass my lips again!

I've slowly but surely been feeling better each day. I'm tired. I get a little dizzy. I have a few aches and pains. But, I think I just might survive and even be happy about all of this!

Aren't you glad I don't have any pictures to post?

Momma don't take my Kodachrome away

2011-04-22T22:25:00.000-07:00

Our family needs a red rock fix at least once a year.

Our needs were met at Kodachrome Basin during Spring Break.

Red Canyon

The girls HAD to have new sunglasses for the trip.

It was still a bit cold so we stayed in "cabins" instead of camping. HALLELUJAH!

The girls' cabin was always a bit messy. What can we say?

We spent a little time bonding with nature through art. We sketched, water-colored and Andrew got creative with Ashley's cheap camera.

We drank lots of water.

Mostly we hiked, took in the beauty, and enjoyed each other.

Ashley LOVED these hikes!

Kevin was happy to finally get a vacation that didn't include a theme park.

There are no pictures of Andrew hiking because he is a mountain goat that cannot be tamed. Or stay on the trail. We walked the trails. He scrambled up, over and all around the rocks. Tirelessly.

Oh wait. Here's a rock he couldn't climb.

We looked for images in the red rocks. Can you see the face?

Can you see the gnome?

Can you see the ballerina slipper?

We drove eleven miles on a dirt road to see an amazing double arch. Unfortunately it was dark when we finally got there, but it was so worth it.

We saw Shakespeare arch.

Emma got her Junior Ranger Badge from the nicest Park Ranger EVER.

We came home too soon for me. I needed another day, or two. But, we had to hit the road.

Good-bye southern Utah. Until we meet again.

I know. Don't laugh.

The 80s

2011-04-04T11:08:00.000-07:00

Random picture of girls I don't know. But they look a lot like girls I did know!

Last night, Ashley totally told me she wanted to learn more about the 80s.

This might be due to the fact that Andrew and I have been complaining about how people have 80s dances and then totally have no idea what the 80s were all about.

We totally went roller skating where they had a poster at the entrance announcing an upcoming 80s Party! Pictured was a disco ball and three happy, party people. Not one of them looked like they had ever been anywhere near the 80s. In fact, they weren't even dressed up from the same decades as each other.

I totally used to say totally this often.

Ashley had thought of researching information on the internet (I'm so proud). But then, she realized she had the best possible resource at her fingertips!

She left a questionnaire by my bedside for me to fill out. At the top of the paper, it states: Please be descriptive.

I thought that, since the 80s are mostly just a neon blur in my mind, you should for sure help me out with her questions. Like, here they are.

Favorites:
Music (The list is so, so long. Everything from Aerosmith to the B-52s to the Cure)

Movies (Pretty in Pink, Sixteen Candles, Beverly Hills Cop, Silverado, 84 Charing Cross Road, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, and many, many more)

Jewelry
Brand of clothes/shoes

How Did You:
Listen to music? (Besides loudly?) Mostly on this: (it was totally awesome)

Wear your clothes and hair? BIG Actually, my hair wasn't too big, if I recall. But wearing big, over-sized shirts over leggings was my thing for a while. K, I take it back about the hair.

1985

Dance? (You don't even want to know) Everything from disco in the early 80s to slam-dancing and ska in the late 80s.

Communicate? On a land-line and/or with handwritten letters. But we put a lot of effort into those letters!! My friends and I were very big on making envelopes out of magazine pages or anything we could find. And funny postcards were a must!

Date? Prom wasn't an all day thing. We just went to dinner and to prom. But flowers and formal wear were a MUST. And you had to date a stud and not a geek.

What Happened...

Politically? I'm not the best person to ask on this one. Can't remember. (Michelle...?)

Innovation-ally? Personal Computers (MS-DOS, Apple, Windows), Cabbage Patch dolls, disposable cameras, and CDs

Historically? I actually graduated from high school and I went to college. Two historical events in my opinion!

Socially? AIDS (not for me personally, of course). But "coming out of the closet" was a big deal. And Nancy Reagan told us to "just say no" to drugs.

Was it cool to:

Have hobbies? What were they? I don't know about this one. Maybe my friends could help us out here. What were cool 80s hobbies?? (I remember doing raised mod podge Holly Hobby dolls in the 70s. Barf me out!)

Travel? Yes! I went to New York, Israel, Egypt and Mexico in the 80s. Wish I could have done more. It was rad.

See live sports? My friends and I weren't into it, so, no, it wasn't hip. ;-)

Be Artsy (photography, singing, dancing, painting, acting ...) Of course! My friends and I were always taking pictures and trying to make them "artsy looking." I got my degree in humanities in the 80s, so artsy stuff was right up my ally.

Have a religion? I don't know if it was cool, but it was very cool for me in the second half of the 80s. I had a lot of making up to do for the first half!

Have puffy sleeves? VERY COOL and if you didn't have puffy sleeves, you needed shoulder pads, for sure.

And tell me anything else worth knowing ... or not. :-)

Okay my friends. I'm totally stoked about taking a shower, so I've gotta jet. Tell Ashley and I anything and everything you remember about the 80s.

Glimpse

2011-02-22T17:14:00.000-08:00

At 3:00 this afternoon, Ashley called to say she needed a ride from school. She stayed after to get caught up on a few things. Every term, at about midterm, she realizes she's failing some of her classes. And I mean failing, as in an F. She then kicks in gear and by the end of the term gets nothing but As and Bs (more As than Bs).

Crazy girl. Reminds me of her mother.

Speaking of failing grades, I was still in my brightly colored, horizontally striped, flannel pajamas at 3:00. Lookin' pretty, too. But I jumped in the car and ran to pick her up.

We decided it would be a good idea to stop and pick up Emma as well. She sprained her ankle at gymnastics last week and is still having trouble doing too much walking.

While we were waiting for Emma to come out of school, our neighbor pulled up behind us. Ashley jumped out to visit while my pajamas and I watched them from the side-view mirror.

It's an odd thing to watch from a distance as your daughter-looking friendly, beautiful and mature-visits with an adult. I sat there trying to remember what Ashley looked like when she was the seven year old being picked up from school and I was the one visiting neighbors who waited in their cars for kids to come running out of school.

I can't remember. I have to get pictures out to remember.

As I sat there and watched her, it occurred to me how much I like her and how lucky I am to have her as my daughter. Even though I couldn't remember what she looked like at seven, I could see clearly what she would be like at twenty, or thirty.

And I liked what I saw.

Troubled Waters

2011-02-02T08:20:00.000-08:00

Recently I was reminded of the time Jesus walked on water and summoned Peter to walk toward him. As Peter kept his eyes on the Savior, he was able to walk across the troubled, stormy waters. When he looked down at the water, doubting, he began to sink. Then, as he turned his eyes again to the Savior, Jesus reached for him and pulled him up.

What are your troubled waters?

My father died last Saturday. He had a brain tumor and died in a rest home about six months after being told he would have about six months to live. My father generously provided for me and added so much zest to my life. But honestly, the man was a scoundrel. Being his daughter has been a sea of troubled waters.

My mother died a year and a half ago. She had breast cancer that spread to her liver. She left one of my sisters and I as co-trustees of her Trust. The issues revolving around that Trust have not yet been resolved and the waters have indeed been troubled. Mom fed me, clothed me and nurtured me when I was sick. But honestly, she was mentally ill and was married to a scoundrel. Being her daughter was stormy at best.

Sometimes I forget who is calling me across the water and think I have to do it alone. At those times, I flail around and battle the waters and even forget which direction I'm headed.

When I remember the Savior, the sea still rages on, but it's like I'm floating on top. He immediately reaches for me, pulls me up and I have a clear vision of where I'm headed and how to get there. I feel ... inspired.

Just for a moment, stop thinking about the troubles and think about Jesus.

What a relief.

Check it

2011-01-31T15:13:00.000-08:00

Check out this great Valentine give away from my awesome niece Ahhnna! Let the lovin' begin...

anna: this is me helping you helping me

Happy New Year!

2011-01-10T19:36:00.000-08:00

The new year has come at me full force and seemingly unexpected. I thought I expected it, but then it was here before it was expected.

So, anyway, I've been thinking about what this year holds.

Andrew turns 17, Ashley 15 and Emma 8.
Kevin and I will celebrate 18 years of marriage.
Emma will be baptized in June!
Andrew will be a senior in high school (I am stunned and amazed).
Ashley will start high school (almost equally stunned and amazed).
Ashley will start driving with her learner's permit (just stunned).
It is likely (fingers crossed) that the issues surrounding my mother's estate will be resolved.
Sadly, it is also likely my father's brain tumor will succeed in taking his life.
Kendra will have a baby boy! (And many other babies will be born in my neighborhood, which means I get to hold them at church.)

The Spawn

2010-12-28T07:47:00.000-08:00

My last post was about how much I love going OVERBOARD.

Now that I have, I'm feeling a little more like this:

Levels of Insanity

2010-12-17T08:44:00.000-08:00

2007

I have to pull everything out of hiding today and see where I'm at with the shopping. I'm not looking forward to it because I know I'll start to panic. I usually do a little shopping grid to help keep me organized. That didn't happen this year. This year, I was going to keep it simple!

I've never been successful at minimizing Christmas. Every year I tell myself I'm going to cut back. Every year I tell the kids "We don't have much money and Christmas won't be as big as usual. And this year I mean it!"

Every year, I go overboard. Can't help it. I love making it magical. I love getting them that thing they really want that I really shouldn't get them because it's whimsical, frivolous and/or useless. I love getting them things they couldn't care less about, but that I think they should have. I love collections, traditions and abundance (insert "gluttony" if you're scrooge).

I'm sure I'm doing a huge disservice to us all, but some habits die hard (much to Kevin's chagrin).

Never fear. I can pretend to be a responsible parent when I set my mind to it. This year, there is one thing on which I stand firm. NO Xbox 360. And Andrew is M.A.D. about it. There are almost a million things I'd rather buy for Andrew than another gaming system, including new games for the system he already has. Poor picked on teenager.

So, off I go to dig under beds, through closets and between nooks and crannies. Time to bravely determine the whimsy level of Christmas morning ... and the panic level of the day after.

Wish me luck!!

Christmas Letters Part 2

2010-12-12T22:13:00.000-08:00

Notice the bare feet. Perfect for running wild around the church while the grown ups watch the program!

At the Ward (church congregation) Christmas Party, Emma sat on Santa's lap and told him what she wanted for Christmas. She told me later that she knew it wasn't the real Santa because the Primary Presidency was there telling Santa what everyone's name was. She found this very comical and it has not at all affected her deep and abiding belief in Santa.

Thanks for these pictures, Missy. I LOVE THEM!

Here is another letter she has written to the Jolly ol' Elf this year. It has been folded up (practically wadded up) and placed inside a tree ornament that has "Letters to Santa" written on the front.

When Emma heard there was going to be a gingerbread house competition at the Ward Christmas Party, she was ALL over it. Knowing that we create a gingerbread house every year, I went ahead and signed us up. We had a lot of fun creating and decorating it together. I often found myself reminding her of that when she expressed her concern about our ability to WIN.

"We aren't going to win, mom."

And, we didn't. BUT, we had fun.

Unfortunately, I don't have a picture. Three teen age boys gathered around it and ate all the candy off (the day after the party). When Emma discovered this, she cried because she was "saving it for Santa on Christmas Eve!"

How could they?

Christmas Letters

2010-12-11T01:48:00.001-08:00

Something about Christmas always seems to put Emma in the writing mood. She really enjoys communicating with Santa, and not just to tell him what she wants.

Her last letter said:

Dear Santa,
Do you really know someone called Burger Meister Meister Burger?

Meaningless Observations on a Wednesday

2010-12-01T19:08:00.000-08:00

This picture of Emma and her cousin on Thanksgiving is cute.

Practicing piano over Thanksgiving break would have been a good idea.

Peppermint shakes at Chick-Fil-A are yummy.

Employees at Fed-Ex/Kinkos in AF are consistently grouchy.

When someone tells you your particular WalMart store doesn't carry sugar cubes, they are speaking the truth.

My feet hurt.

Spending the day watching crime solving television is not restful.

Sitting on the couch reading from our new advent calendar IS restful. Thanks Primary Presidency!

What It's All About

2010-11-28T16:32:00.000-08:00

My Girls

On Friday morning, I sat down to write my sister a Thank You email for having us at her house for Thanksgiving. Instead, I found the following email from her to all those who attended. (I threw in a couple pictures for your viewing pleasure.)

On Fri, Nov 26, 2010 at 9:10 AM, Kathy Castleton wrote:
I just wanted to say thanks again for helping make our Thanksgiving so nice. Each of you worked hard. All of you were an important part of the celebration. I love you.

This morning I had a great leftover for breakfast. It was plain yogurt with a dollop of cranberry sauce and some almonds. Yum.

I am very grateful for all of you so I thought I would write a few of my memories of the day. I hope you'll take a minute and tell me yours. Emma played Christmas carols on grandma Wiltbank's piano. She is playing so well for someone so young! Ashley wore a beautiful sunflower top. She is such a beauty. She helped so much. Eva looked pretty. She brought her bouche de noel and pecan pie. She brought delicious potatoes that Suzy was grateful for. Helen cooked from the time she got up in the morning until we ate. She made delicious green beans at the drop of a hat. We literally could not have had the meal without her help. Andrew carried chairs and walked through the house like Abraham Lincoln. He is so tall and thin. He has a famous presence. Gabe set the tables. He likes to put out two sets of forks. Daria wore her blue top and black pants. She likes to dress up fancy for holidays. Claire brought her cheese balls. Helen and Ransom said the three of them were the Judicial, Legislative and Executive Branches of government in carrying out, judging and eating the cheese itself. I personally liked the gruyere the best. Judith brought a lovely poinsettia with her pies to start out the Christmas decor. Thank you. Kevin played with Mariah. He's a great great uncle. He drove back and forth to his house to get all of the things that we needed. God bless Kevin. Chuck printed out the picture and handwriting of Mary Burton about John Henry Plumb. He and Kevin carved the turkeys in unison in the kitchen. He also gave the prayer on the food. The cat kept coming in the laundry room where the food was. Ransom played his concertina. Graham and Kendra came. Graham was very festive in his pumpkin t-shirt. Suzy made turkey place markers with Oreos. It took her two days and they were darling. She and Emma entertained Mariah for hours. When we took Mariah's tray off of her high chair she shouted "naked" then looked down at herself and realized she wasn't naked and was disappointed. Jeremy, Gabe and Andrew played a Wii game for hours and hours. :-) We all finished a 550 piece puzzle of a darling Thanksgiving scene.

Some of you left your John Henry Plumb card. If you want it, here's an attachment.
I would love to hear your memories of this day.
Have a great holiday.
Kathy

The big boys cut up the turkeys

the younger boys cut up the . . . new Wii game

This is the response she got from my sister-in-law, Judith.

Thanks, Kathy. I think this is a fun part of an event like this. It completes the celebration to sum up the observations of the day. I didn't really see a lot of the kids, they were so busy downstairs with games and playing together, only poking their heads up when they were hungry. They reminded me of a garden of flowers--similar in some characteristics--but all unique and beautiful in their differences.

I observed what a compatible group it was. Their was a peace in the house that made it feel like a home, I really felt comfortable. I liked the span of ages from one to 65--with the added bonus of stories about the past generations. I enjoyed the variety of personalities and individual interests. I worked on the puzzle, played each of the games, and had a very nice day. The "Chain of Thanks" was fun and so were the place cards. All of the food was delicious--I overate a little, and slept very well last night. It was a perfect Thanksgiving!

Thanks to the Castletons for sharing their home.
Love, Judith

Really, need I say more?

What I Liked About Today's Services

2010-11-21T19:07:00.000-08:00

Being early enough to sit in a bench!

Watching Ethan B. gently lift the sacrament cup to his dad's mouth.

Eric and Kirsten giving talks together.

Andrew and Ashley sitting next to each other for over an hour without fighting.

The choir (especially DeLayne and Helen J.).

Watching Amber love on her chubby baby.

Really good "High Council Sunday" talks.

Subbing in the nursery (I know, but those little ones always make me happy).

A Privilege

2010-11-17T13:16:00.000-08:00

I went to my neighbor's house to clean today. She is a young mother with six children, a husband, and breast cancer.

Every other Wednesday I have the honor, the privilege, of joining two or three other women for an hour to do a little housework for them. Today I dusted and vacuumed. Easy-peasy (though I must say, even that makes me work up a sweat - gross).

While I was dusting her bedroom she asked me what was going on in the world. I told her I had no idea. But you know me well enough to know I couldn't pass up a chance to TALK. So, I ended up telling her all my troubles.

When there was nothing left to dust (I avoided dusting her husband), she said to me "Oh Helen, you're so NORMAL!"

I knew just what she meant, and I felt better.

Yes, the woman sick in bed from chemo treatments, bald head and all, cheered me up.

Drained

2010-11-15T09:24:00.000-08:00

I ran out of my iron supplement and didn't get it replaced for a few days.

I feel like an energy sucking giant stuck a straw in me and drained me of what little umph I had left.

I took two naps yesterday and slept ten hours last night. I'm in a fog.

See the baby that looks like a deer in headlights? Yeah.

Somebody Stop The Madness!

2010-11-12T11:02:00.001-08:00

I finally have a few minutes to upload photos from the past month. It's been a bit crazy around here.

We went to California for Fall Break to support Andrew and the marching band. We also went to Disneyland and the beach. Most of our trip was recorded on the Flip video camera I bought myself for my birthday. However, I haven't been able to upload the videos yet. Still figuring it all out. I'm slow.

Our beach day was chilly, but lovely. It's so much fun to go to the beach with Ashley! It's like she belongs there.

Halloween was next on the agenda. Emma was a cowgirl. Ashley was a cowgirl one day and a mexican hombre the next. Andrew was Art Garfunkel. I didn't get pictures of the older two because, well, because I'm lame.

The next weekend, I went to St. George to see the marching band play in their final competition for the year. Ashley and Emma had piano competitions at the exact same time as the band was to play in St. George. Kevin decided to stay with the girls and I went to St. George - BY MYSELF! WOOHOO!!

Again, I have video of the girls playing their pieces and the marching band on the field. We'll just say the girls both took superior ratings in their competitions and the marching band took 3rd in their division for the first competition and 12th overall in the regional national competition. Not too shabby.

It was fun having a little time to hang out with some of the percussionists.

When I arrived home from St. George at 3:00 in the morning, I found evidence of Emma all around the house. No Thanksgiving decoration unturned.

And last but not least, we went to Emma's Veterans Day program at school yesterday. She had a speaking part in the play. She was AWESOME! It was a delightful program and her teacher is wonderful!

Emma is the one in back right next to the teacher. We couldn't get them all to hold still for a picture.

Ain't life grand?!

Stripped

2010-11-04T22:48:00.000-07:00

When you take your coat off, are you the same person underneath?

When important people in your life are so covered in layers that you don't know what's underneath, it's easy to become obsessed with making sure you are the same person with or without "your coat on." Layers of deception and hypocrisy become distasteful, to say the least.

A few weeks ago, Ashley introduced me to this song. When I first saw the title I thought "Great. Another one of those songs." But I was pleased to find it was about this very thing I speak of.

I've been a long time fan of Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield, so I gave it a try. It's not my favorite song right now, but I love the topic.

I don't like music videos much. They tend to ruin a good song. But here you go anyway:

And by the way, whey I'm all stripped down, I look just like her.

And the name of the band is ...

2010-11-03T00:59:00.001-07:00

One of the best concerts I've ever seen was David Byrne in a solo performance. All alone with nothing but his guitar. It was fantastic.

But here he is with the band. Not one of their better known songs, but one of my favorites.

(The video takes a good 20 seconds before any music plays.)

The Commenter

2010-11-01T22:16:00.000-07:00

Name that band.

I have come to realize I am a commenter.

Okay, stop laughing. You don't have to think you're all cool just because you knew that already.

But I don't mean just in church or in the classroom. I mean, it really is who I am.

I can't think of a dang thing to say on Facebook, but I can comment on what other people say until the cows come home.

I can't come up with blog entries very often, but I can comment on anything anyone puts out there.

I can't write a book. Heck, I can't even read books half the time. But I can comment on them, whether I've read them or not. Just ask my book group gals, or my old college profs.

I can't think of great conversation topics, but I can join in and give my two bits worth at any given moment.

What does this have to do with anything?

I have no idea.

Care to comment?

The Task

2010-10-26T06:55:00.000-07:00

If you know me at all, you know I've been trying to figure out why entropy is a part of our lives. Not just because when you look at me you can tell it has begun, but because I haven't been able to understand why God intentionally created entropy as something we always have to battle.

Everything in life naturally falls into disarray. We, as humans on this earth, spend most of our time keeping this process in check. We mow our lawns and battle with weeds, we clean out our junk drawers, exercise our bodies, and repair our roofs.

Why? What the HECK for? To what END?

I heard a quote the other day that has finally given me a slight glimmer of hope that there is some method to the madness.

The task is about the relationship.

While you are doing dishes, and teaching your children to do the same, is it about a clean kitchen or the relationship? Both.

When you are reading scriptures, is it about gaining knowledge or developing a relationship with God? Both.

When you are driving your kids around, endlessly, is it about getting them there, or your relationship with them? Both.

When you paint your toenails, is it about having nice looking feet, or your relationship with yourself? Both.

Laundry. Making beds. Your job. Paying bills. Yard work. House work. Education.

The various tasks of battling entropy can be relatively important in our lives. But they can also become SO hum drum at times. Flat out boring. So, I've started asking myself the question "What relationship is this about?"

And life takes on a whole new meaning.

Invisible Ties

2010-10-15T19:23:00.000-07:00

I grew up in an old farm house that sat on about an acre and a half of land. It was a rectangular shaped property with a canal running along the other side of the short, western edge. No fence or hedge divided our property line and that of the city property where the canal ran.

Our house sat almost completely at the eastern edge of the property and faced north. To get to the canal, a little girl such as myself had to walk past the garbage shed, the chicken coup, the old barn and horses and up a slight slope to the edge of the water.

There was a large tree right at the edge of the canal with something like a tree-house inside. From what I can remember, it was more like a plank of wood with a wall or two. Oddly enough, it was of very little interest to me. It kind of scared me and had sort of a sense that it belonged to "the boys."

Over time, landmarks on the path to the canal changed. The garbage shed, chicken shed, horses and barn were replaced with a garden, weeds and junk piles. Still, it was the perfect distance from the main house. A distance that gave the feeling of getting away without actually leaving. If you were out by the canal, it would be awhile before someone found you. If, in fact, there was anyone looking for you.

It was out by this canal, one summer day, that I lay in the tall grass, looking up at the trees and listening to the sounds surrounding the canal. The beautiful thing was that there were hardly any sounds at all. As the youngest of eight children, the lack of sound was almost frightening. Uncomfortable at the very least.

My reprieve from "real life" only lasted about ten minutes. I felt uneasy about staying too long or being discovered by someone. I didn't want to be laughed at. Who knows why adolescents think the things they do? I feared what someone might think if they saw me there feeling the tops of the grass with my palms and blissfully staring into the sky.

It was as if an invisible string connected me to the house. As though I couldn't stay away too long or someone would pull the string and bring me back home. I secretly longed to cut the string but knew that I couldn't. It was a secret I even kept from myself. It was the invisible string that kept me from staying longer, that drew me back home.

Even now, I can feel the tug of the string. Not to the house, but to the family in it. Cutting the string (oh, how easy it would be to just "snip, snip") would bring my freedom. But, there would be nothing to hold me down. I would float into the atmosphere and disappear. No, I'd rather go to the edge of the property, enjoy the silence awhile, then respond again to the tug of the string.

Ten Times the Love

2010-10-08T07:34:00.000-07:00

Because you are smarter than I am, you already know what's happening this Sunday.

The planets will align.

Actually, I don't know anything about the planets. I only know that it will be 10/10/10 and my TENacious niece has thrown down the gauntlet of challenge.

On 10/10/10 we are committing to do ten awesome things for ten people. I can feel how TENtative you are, but I have ideas. Actually, I'll just give you Ahhnna's Awesome Ten:

1. Leave 10 cookies anonymously on someone's doorstep.
2. Write an anonymous note telling someone how awesome they are.
3. Donate $10 to a charity--any cause that strikes your fancy.
4. Give 10 flowers to an old lady in your neighborhood.
5. Attach a helium balloon to someone's doorknob.
6. Write a message on someone's car window with washable window paint ("Lookin' Good!").
7. If you go to church, sit by someone that you've never met and give them a great compliment.
8. Make a scarf and bring it to someone who looks like they need one.
9. Give ten kisses to someone you love... or should love.
10. Smile at ten strangers and tell them to have a GREAT day!

(Here's a special one for Heather: Play ten matches of TENnis.)

Now, here's the fun part. Share this idea on your blog. Then, share pictures of what you've done and link back to my blog. Ooooo, feel the love!

Or, if you don't want to blog about it, just commit to doing it! Won't it be FUN?

We don't have this kind of fun very ofTEN.

Let me hear you! Are you in?

ADD

2010-10-01T08:40:00.000-07:00

I had breakfast with a friend yesterday. In the short time we were together we discussed our children who have been diagnosed with ADD and who are currently taking medication for that diagnosis.

We confessed we used to tell ourselves that we ought to be able to deal with these issues without using medications. After all, what's wrong with a society that requires so many people to be medicated (self-prescribed or not) just in order to get along on a day to day basis?

But then, we shared our delight in what has happened to our children now that they have medications that are working for them. We both regret not jumping in to help them sooner! They were so tormented. We regret our hesitations.

Why did we wait so long? Why did we spend so many hours bleeding through school and through homework? My questions remain the same, but the results of the medication are too positive to dismiss.

If you're wondering if your child needs to be medicated for ADD, do it. Trust me, it's worth a try. If you're critical of people who medicate their children for ADD, your concerns are not unfounded. However, you have a lot to learn.

People Skills?

2010-09-09T13:52:00.000-07:00

My sister and I disagree on matters related to the family trust. This is a problem because we are co-trustees and we have to agree before we can take action on anything.

I wrote her an email asking her, in a very straight forward way, to please defend her position.

This was her reply:

Would you consider reading the book: "How to win friends and influence people" before we continue further discussions on these issues? The book is available on tape. Your people skills are quite frightening.

I'm not sure whether I should laugh or cry. Could my people skills really be so bad that they are preventing her from defending her position?

Interested

2010-08-31T08:14:00.000-07:00

She is turning 32, not 5

Today it is Anna's birthday. She is my adorable niece who's prolific blog I follow faithfully. Wouldn't it be awesome if you went to her blog (by clicking here) and wished her a Happy Day!?

Onward and Upward

2010-08-30T10:54:00.000-07:00

Many of you have asked for an update on my thyroid test. I'm so sorry I didn't post that, I hate it when people do that.

My thyroid is cancer free! I suspected it would be, but I just wanted to be sure.

However, it is enlarged and has a multi-nodular goiter. This is nothing too unusual, but still requires attention as it means the thyroid is obviously not performing the way it should be. The small amount of thyroid medication I'm currently taking is obviously not doing the trick. When I google "thyroiditis," I currently have EVERY symptom listed. So, something still needs to be done.

Thank you, everyone, for your love and concern. I really do appreciate your support. My backyard neighbor has just been diagnosed with breast cancer, so I feel a little sheepish complaining at all, about any ailment. But I guess even though I don't have the worst ailments in the world, they are still ailments, right?

And thanks to all of you who thought the bruise on my neck was a hickey. I appreciate knowing there are people out there that think Kevin and I are still that frisky. Frisky? Yes. That frisky? No.

As for an update on my dad, he survived his brain surgery, and having a pin put in his broken hip. He is now being placed in a care facility for recovery. He will no longer be able to live alone, so we will have to find a long term facility for him once he has recovered from his surgeries. The neurosurgeon estimates he has one or two years to live. That is actually a lot longer than I expected.

He is eighty years old. His former wife, my mother, passed away one year ago today. They divorced in their mid seventies. He has eight children, many of whom are at least partially estranged. His financial affairs are far from being in order. Perhaps God has given him a little extra time to get things straightened out. I, for one, am hoping there will be enough time for him and I to resolve some of our differences. It will take some courage on my part, but I think I might just have enough courage left to make it happen.

School Bells

2010-08-25T08:46:00.001-07:00

(Day in the life of a Lone Peak Knight)

I love that our little neighborhood elementary school actually has bells that ring on the first day of school. Emma got a big welcoming hug from the cougar mascot, and a bright smiling welcome from the new principal as we walked in the doors. The whole thing just gives me warm fuzzies. (Side note: I'm not sure how I like her teacher, Mrs. Emfield. Time will tell.)

Do you remember having a car full of crazy teenagers pull up to give you a ride as you ran out the door to school? This morning, Andrew's friend pulled up in a tiny-little-beat-up two door car full of high school juniors. Someone jumped out so that lanky, six-foot-one Andrew could fold himself into the back seat next to a cute, blond, neighbor girl. And off they sped, brimming with laughter and coolness.

I just sat and stared out the window, wondering where the time has gone.

"What should I wear on the first day of school?" An important question this time of year, especially if you're a girl starting ninth grade. Her friends were wanting to make an impression these first few days of school. But Ashley's words were "I don't want to have to live up to that impression the rest of the year. So, here's my 'I don't really care' outfit." In which, she was gorgeous. Off to the bus stop she went, texting and pulling out her shiny, new copy of Mockingjay. "Good-bye sweet girl! You are surviving jr. high with a grace and poise your mother never possessed."

Maybe I should have sent her with a tazer, or mace, or something to fight the boys off with.

And here I am. Home alone. AT LAST!

Dang. I forgot to take pictures.

It's been a good summer, but as always, it has taken it's toll. I'm ready to have a clean(er) house. I'm ready for crisp fall air. I'm ready for a few hours a day of uninterrupted PEACE. I'm ready for progress.

Unwanted Growths

2010-08-19T20:57:00.001-07:00

Well, I should be ninety bucks richer any day now. I did the first step of the sleep test and everything looked fairly normal. Should I hold him to his word?

As for the thyroid, I go in on Monday for a biopsy. Should be fun!

My blood work came back. As expected, everything was NORMAL. Enlarged thyroid and cysts on both sides but the blood work comes back normal. Maybe that's they way it's supposed to be? I don't know.
And speaking of unwanted growths, my father had a Level IV brain tumor removed today. He fell two nights ago and when they scanned him for injuries, a tumor was discovered on the right front lobe of his brain. Perhaps this is what made him fall in the first place, we don't know.

Level IV means that the tumor is very developed and lodged deeply into his brain. So, they can't safely remove the entire tumor. This type of brain cancer is fatal, though I haven't heard a prognosis from the doctor yet.

My mother died August 30th of last year. I was just getting to the point of thinking I might be able to start functioning normally again. Then, BAM.

But, enough about me. Let's talk about what you think about me.

Lumpy Bumpy

2010-08-16T15:08:00.000-07:00

I finally went to the doctor today. For several weeks I've been feeling SO DANG TIRED. I can sleep for eight hours and then take a four hour nap. It's ridiculous.

I was out running errands this morning and could barely hold my eyes open. This was after a good night's rest. I decided I couldn't go home and make an appointment because I would probably just tell myself "Ill do it after a little nap." Then, that little nap would last until after five and I would miss my chance.

Luckily my doctor's office is just down the street and takes walk-ins. After a quick exam, the PA bet me ninety bucks my problem is sleep apnea. He said he didn't know where he got that number. I suggested it was because that was about the cost of my visit.

ANYWAY, I told him I was willing to do the sleep test but asked if I could also get my thyroid checked. Even though all my blood work always comes up normal, I just needed to be sure. We have a history of thyroid problems in my family so he said that would be a good idea and sent me to the other clinic to get an ultra sound.

True to my life, I was expecting to walk out of there feeling like crap with my usual clean bill of health. Nope.

I told the tech that when my sister had her thyroid looked at they told her it looked like a street map. It was then that he said mine didn't look like that but was enlarged and "all lumpy, bumpy." In fact, he thought there might be a cyst or two (one on each side).

WOO! HOO! A CLUE!

Of course I would rather have no problems at all. But I'm so fed up with telling doctors how awful I feel and having them tell me all my tests are normal. I'm glad to know it might not all just be in my mind.

Time will tell.

Crayons

2010-08-13T18:03:00.001-07:00

I've never understood the fascination some people have with jewelry. I don't mind other people wearing jewelry and I admire those that have good taste in accessories. I even envy them.

As for myself, I just can't do it. I can wear earrings and my wedding ring. That's it. And don't ask me to go digging through a pile of jewelry or to sort through the stuff. Ew. It's as bad as cleaning the change and crumbs from the bottom of my purse. Willies.

Today I had an ah-ha moment and finally caught a glimpse of the appeal. Kind of. I wonder, and those of you who love jewelry correct me if I'm wrong, if it is something akin to my love of all things school/office supply? Or close to my adoration of kitchen gadgets? I walk down the office isle at WalMart or Target and think "I'm sure there's something I need down here, something I have to have."

File folders, notebooks and organizers. Oh my!

The one item that trumps them all however, is a brand new box of sharp Crayola crayons.

Ahhhh, back to school season! New markers, colored pencils and writing utensils of all sorts just waiting to be doodled with. Yum.

Speaking of yum, hold please. I have to take a huge pan of made from scratch brownies out of the oven . . . .

Okay. Where was I?

CRAYONS. Yes.

I've had so many crayons and school supplies collecting over the years that I have resisted buying too much more. But this year, I gave in. It's time to replenish!! Time to get rid of the green-yellow, cerulean, and scarlet crayons that never get used. And lets not forget red-violet. Why is it you can never find a true red or blue when you need one?

Piles of spiral binders, notebooks, crayons, markers, folders and dividers. I even bought a supply of tri-fold display boards. You know, the ones you have to drag yourself to the store at 11pm in the winter, on a school night, in order to finish the mom-I-forgot-to-tell-you project?

I'm so ready.

Until I get that "Second Grade Class Supply and Teacher Want List."

Oh, bummer, I'll have to go back and get more.

Hot and Bonded

2010-08-02T21:05:00.000-07:00

If you are a woman, did you grow up feeling a deep and abiding connection to the other women in your life? Did you feel part of the sisterhood in your family? It can be difficult to develop that kind of bond if it didn't exist in your childhood, especially if it was even intentionally sabotaged in your childhood.

I've come to realize how important bonding with the women in your family can be. No, how important it is. Equally important is convincing the men in your life that they need to let you. Luckily, my husband is all for it. "Go! Bond! Come back happy!"

So off to St. George we went, again. In the middle of July.

Tarzan at Tuacahn topped the to-do list.

Kala was amazing!

Yes, he really was this buff. Yes, we drooled.

Of course we had to shop, swim and nap.

I'm not in this picture because I was doing the napping for the rest of the group.

We ate. A lot.

Brazilian strawberry, coconut lemonades. YUM

Waiting outside The Bear Paw for the best breakfast ever has become a St. George tradition.

Yes they are drinking sodas before breakfast. It was hot.

Inside at last! Worth the wait.

What is a visit to St. George without a side trip to Zion National Park? Incomplete, I tell you. (Even if it was so hot I was sick and had to just sit in the cool water. It was the perfect excuse to play with the little girls.)

Me, my great niece and Emma

My beautiful (buff!) niece Eva with her beautiful baby M in tow.

Ashley and Suzy bravely fighting the current.

Brave Daria (on the left) did this whole trip shortly after having eye surgery.

We were all ready to fall asleep after this hot, fun day! Lucky M!

Instead, we shared wings from Wing Stop (a new tradition) and made the drive home.

Bonded. Connected. Loving our sisterhood.

Stop The Press!

2010-08-01T12:50:00.000-07:00

In my last post I left out a vitally important bit of information!

How could I not have mentioned that I'll be seeing MY Amy from Israel this upcoming weekend? I know a lot of people claim her as theirs, but they are sadly mistaken.

Shelby, her oldest daughter, is getting married. This means that we met in Israel a long time ago. Twenty-three years ago, in fact.

Can't wait to see you, soul sister!

(Amy is in front of me)

(Amy is in the middle, and doesn't look a day older than she did in '87)

Utah Perks

2010-07-30T01:38:00.000-07:00

There are several things I like about living in Utah.

Having out of town visitors on a regular basis lands somewhere in the top five on the list.

This summer has been exceptionally awesome in that regard. So far I've seen Dave and Sage from my college days, Jane and Gary from our time in Florida, Heather from my high school days and so much more (which also led to seeing Patti and other high school friends), Danny from my Snowbird employment days (only he actually lives here now), and coming in August will be Jeanine from my college days.

Good times man. Good times.

After having an extremely difficult winter, visits from these wonderful friends has been like a shot in the arm. They took time out of their busy vacation/summer schedules to visit with me and my family. It gives me warm fuzzies. It makes me feel downright loved.

And I feel like sharing the love. Wanna be long term friends?

Because we've had a few unfortunate camera incidents, visual aids for this post are pending.

Here's What Happened

2010-07-19T22:54:00.001-07:00

It's no secret that I'm a fan of crime shows. I like the suspense, solving the crime, guessing who did it before the big reveal, the subplots and the action.

I love action.

Given the choice between a good chick flick and a good action movie, I will almost always choose the action movie. Incidentally, my husband will usually choose the chick flick or the tear jerker. He also chooses fish or chicken while I choose steak. But that's a different story.

Television and I haven't always gotten along very well. In fact, in times past I was something of a television snob. I was astounded to find that people with intelligence actually watched television. I couldn't figure out when they had the time for it. I couldn't figure out how they could succumb to its mind numbing powers.

Then, I'm not sure how or why, I fell. It's just been in the last two or three years that my mind has been opened to the beautiful bliss of mind numbing television. I have fallen HARD.

When telling a friend a list of my favorite crime shows, she said "I used to like those kind of shows too but I've kind of grown out of it. Now I just really like watching sports."

So, maybe some day I'll mature into sports, reality T.V., competitions, or even the news. But for now, here's what gets recorded at my house:

Burn Notice

Psych

The Mentalist

Lie To Me

White Collar

And my new favorite addiction: Foyel's War (written by Anthony Horowitz of Alex Rider fame). If there is anyone out there with Set 2, please help me.

I'd love to hear what you can't wait to watch.

Rum tum tum

2010-07-12T08:18:00.000-07:00

Normally Andrew plays the tenor drums. You know, the set of five drums they carry in front that look really heavy -- because they are really heavy. During this parade in American Fork, he was asked to fill in on the bass drum instead.

I'm so glad someone with a decent camera was there taking pictures, and then shared them! Hopefully we can get some good shots of him playing tenors as well.

Notice the Vic Firth insignia? Yeah, well, I just discovered one of those on the back of my new van. Thankfully he was smart enough to put it on the window.

Faults On Parade

2010-07-02T23:01:00.000-07:00

Today I sent out an email asking for volunteers to clean the church tomorrow morning.

This is Kevin's church calling and sometimes he has a hard time getting people to come do their part. He's not the most organized person in the world, but he tries. And rain or shine (so to speak), the church gets cleaned twice a week, even if he has to do it himself. Which was the case earlier this week.

HOURS. He was there, by himself, for HOURS. Granted, it was his own fault because he had failed to get volunteers. We've all been there.

BUT ANYWAY -- he asked me if I would do a shout out to the ward tonight because he had already made 16 phone calls yesterday but still couldn't find any help.

Sure! No problem. A little note on Facebook and a quick email to the RS sisters should do the trick.

Well, I made a mistake in my email. I said that Kevin wanted to hurry and get the church cleaned early so that he could make it to the parade in time to see Andrew. I don't know why I said that because I KNOW the parade isn't until Monday. I was having a senior moment or something. He really wants to get it done early because we have a family hike planned with my sister's family at 9am. And he was thinking other people probably had things they would need to get to for the holiday.

I've had quite a few responses to that email. Unfortunately, most of them have been to inform me that the parade is on Monday. No "I'm sorry we can't make it to help clean tomorrow. And by the way, isn't the parade on Monday?" Just "Helen, the parade is Monday."

I KNOW PEOPLE. AND WHO CARES??? I appreciate that you don't want me to show up for the parade, delighted to have found the perfect seating arrangements, only to realize I'm attending on the wrong day. But this is not the concern for my well being I was hoping for!

Did you flat out miss the point of the email? H-E-L-P, HELP is needed.

Of course, if you'd rather, we could always leave the stinky diapers in the bathrooms and the pee on the floors in front of the urinals. We could forgo wiping the snotty slobber spots from the windows and drinking fountains. We could even leave a trail of cheerios leading right to your favorite pew so you won't have to worry about bringing your own treats!

No, no. Instead I would like to profusely thank the one person who volunteered (well, my friend in Florida volunteered also). And she didn't even say a WORD about the parade. Simply "I'll be there if you need me." This is the Young Women's President. A person who knows what it's like to need people's help to get your calling done. And by the way, the friend in Florida who jokingly volunteered is the Stake Young Women's President. Coincidence?

Thank you ladies.

Okay, if you're still reading this and have stuck with me this long, I'll tell you the REAL reason I wrote this post. As I sat here thinking about all of this it occurred to me how often I am blinded to the real needs of people because I am so intent on letting them know about all the things I see that are less than perfect. It's like reading a sentence that has a typo and not being able to focus on what is being said because the typo might as well be in flashing neon lights obscuring your ability to see the rest of the words or understand their meaning. SO ANNOYING.

But does the error really matter? Only if you're the editor. And even then, kindness in editing is the only way to make corrections and still keep a clear vision of the big picture.

Okay. Now I'm rambling. But you were too kind to notice, right?

Pick Up Duty

2010-06-30T00:40:00.000-07:00

I'm on pick-up-duty tonight. That doesn't mean I go around picking up dog duties. It means I go pick up a bunch of love struck teenage girls from Eclipse at 2:30am and take them to their homes.

Normally this wouldn't be a problem for me as I have a hard time getting to bed sometimes. It's not that I have a hard time sleeping once I hit the pillow. But I have a hard time getting my head to the pillow. In fact, I had a night like that last night. I glanced at the clock as I crawled into bed and it said 3:33am. I also glanced at the clock when Emma woke me from a particularly enjoyable dream at 7:20am. Groan.

And speaking of duties, as I came out of the bathroom this morning around 11:15, my Visiting Teachers were standing in the hallway waiting for me. I had completely forgotten they were coming, as was evidenced by the fact that I was in my pajamas, bra-less and stinking up the main floor level of the house. "OH! Hello ladies! Come in! Could you give me a second while I run up and put on a bra, grab some air freshener and pretend I don't care that you're seeing me like this AGAIN?"

And speaking of Visiting Teaching, I haven't done mine yet this month.

And speaking of running out of time, I think it might be time to go get those girls!! HOORAY!!

Me Likey

2010-06-25T20:42:00.000-07:00

Corn on the cob, slathered in butter, sprinkled with salt and pepper.

Having all my kids farmed out, Kevin at work, and the morning to myself to do whatever I want.

Phineas and Ferb.

Crisp, sweet, juicy watermelon.

Movies in the park after dark, on a giant screen, with two hundred of my closest friends.

Driving with the windows down and listening to the sounds of summer.

Fresh Strawberry shakes at Taco Amigo (me no likey the $5 price tag).

Diving into a fresh, cool swimming pool on a hot summer's day.

Driving my new VW Routan minivan.

Book groups with little girls in someone else's back yard.

Summertime tunes.

BBQ season.

Sunday evening walks around the block that should take ten minutes but take two hours (what can I say, I like to visit).

Lone Peak Marching Band drum line. Especially that tall boy playing the tenor drums. :-)

Well, I tried.

2010-06-20T21:15:00.000-07:00

Father's day. Hmm.

When it comes to Kevin, the father of my children, I'll spare you the mush.

Well, okay, I will say that he is a very loving, tender and humble father.

When it comes to LeR, the father of me and my siblings, I'll spare you all together. I just can't quite do it yet.

I'm almost there. Maybe next year.

Here's the thing. No matter how hard I try, I can't get this picture to upload properly. If I rotate it, it just comes back up flipped. Oh well. Kind of fitting.

Bring Forth The Record

2010-06-15T23:05:00.000-07:00

Jesus came to visit the Nephites in America after he was resurrected. He taught, ministered, loved and blessed the people. He also gave them commandments - guidance that would help them on their path to salvation.

A few of the things he said about keeping records have been rolling around in my head for a couple of weeks. And I thought I'd write them down before they roll right out.

In 3rd Nephi, Chapter 23 (page 454 of the Book of Mormon) it says:

"Therefore give heed to my words; write the things which I have told you; and according to the time and the will of the Father they shall go forth unto the Gentiles.

. . . Behold, other scriptures I would that ye should write, that ye have not.

And it came to pass that he said unto Nephi: Bring forth the record which ye have kept" (verses 4, 6 and 7).

At this point, Jesus points out to Nephi that the fulfillment of some of Samuel's prophesies had not been recorded. Of course, Nephi fixes that right away, making their record/scriptures complete.

But what good is a complete record unless you do something with it? So verse 14 says:

"And now it came to pass that when Jesus had expounded all the scriptures in one, which they had written, he commanded them that they should teach the things which he had expounded unto them."

As I read that this time around I realized how important it is for us to record our spiritual discoveries and experiences; the spiritual events in our lives. When I become complacent about this, the experiences go more and more unnoticed. I think they even happen less and less.

I know that we've been counseled over and over and over again to write in our journals and keep records of things. We've been encouraged to record the "tender mercies of the Lord." But it impressed me that the Savior himself took time to point out the importance of writing down spiritual events and then teaching about them.

I think it might finally be sinking in.

Wander Lust

2010-05-30T23:25:00.000-07:00

Several weeks ago I asked Kevin what he would like to do for a family vacation this summer. I was not at all surprised by his answer. "Go camping." And he had a few suggestions of places he'd like to go.

I think he was equally unsurprised by my answer. "Um. No."

It's not that I don't like camping. In fact, I LOVE IT. But the truth is, I'm old, fat and tired and sleeping on the ground for a week just isn't as fun as it used to be. Especially with four other people piled in the tent.

***

I was driving in the mini van with Emma when she started explaining to me why she likes Dolphins. "They're friendly and playful and so cute!"

The thought occurred to me that this would be a good time to take Emma back to Sea World for a visit to those friendly, playful, oh so cute Dolphins. I ran my trip idea passed Kevin and I think he was secretly excited by the idea of a bed close to the beach instead of a plot of rock hard ground by the outhouse.

That was easy.

***

I'm really bad about reading the paper. Even though we've only ordered the Sunday paper, it seems to come on all sorts of other random days as well. We never know when it will or won't come. Except for Sunday. It always comes on Sunday.

But I digress.

I was actually reading the paper when I came across a guide for summer in Utah. They had an entire section on camping. A variety of roasted marshmallow recipes, tin foil dinners and campfire songs.

I was swept away.

Can you smell it? Can you smell the campfire? Are you all cozy and snuggled down in your sleeping bag? Can you smell the crisp Utah air and see the glittering stars?

Ya. Me too.

Maybe I'm not that old, fat and tired. I think I could maybe do a three day weekend in July! But I'll pass on the suggested Shaggy Dog: roasted marshmallow dipped in chocolate syrup and rolled in coconut. Sounds good, but on a campout? Nah.

Kevin, Ashley, Andrew 1997

Drugs and Hard Work

2010-05-27T07:48:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling guilty that I'm not more strict with my children. I know what you're thinking, but seriously. I think I'm just too lazy.

Getting them to do work is, well, a lot of work. Sometimes I have to get down right nasty. In fact, sometimes I have to drug them.

Here's what I mean:

Different Drug Problem ......

Editor’s note:

The following letter has appeared on the internet and was viewed by many readers. Many felt it would be appropriate for the readers of Avoyelles Parish.

The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a Methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question, “Why didn’t we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?”

I replied, I had a drug problem when I was young: I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals. I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather.

I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults. I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher , or if I didn’t put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.

I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity. I was drug out to pull weeds in mom’s garden and flower beds and cockleburs out of dad’s fields. I was drug to the homes of family, friends and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood, and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed.

Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today’s children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place.

God bless the parents who drugged us.

Submitted by concerned citizen

(Unfortunately, I don't have the source for this article.)

Three Cheers for Completion

2010-05-25T08:23:00.001-07:00

Oh my gosh I haven't written anything in a long time which tells you how insanely crazy busy my life has been for the past two weeks!! BREATHE.

We sold my mother's condo. HOORAY!!
Cleaning it was harder than selling it. But it's done.

I found a place for my sister to live and moved her in. HOORAY!!
You don't EVEN want to know what was involved in that accomplishment.

My children are not failing out of any of their classes. HOORAY!!
And with how wacky this year has been, it is truly a miracle.

Registration for the Webelos Extreme is CLOSED. HIP HIP HOORAY!!
Now to organize all the patrols, the food, one of the mini classes, and pull the whole thing off.

As for Kevin, he just never stops. He just keeps working and working and working. When he's not off providing for the family, he's helping me with one of my many random projects. Steady and faithful. My right hand man. HOORAY is not enough for him. How about

HALLELUJAH!

Shiver Me Timbers!

2010-05-12T13:12:00.000-07:00

Emma finally turned SEVEN! And she's got a big girl bike to prove it. Four missing teeth are secondary proof, should you require any.

This post documents how a chronically unorganized, procrastinating perfectionist pulls off a birthday party.

The day before the party, I went to Target twice, Partyland twice, the Dollar Store, you guessed it, twice, Macey's (just once) and the Beehive Boutique (just because I wanted to -- I justified it by buying Emma some earings and hair clips "for her birthday").

Really, I'd forgotten I was capable of getting that much done in a day. It was quite fun until the last trip to Target at which point I said to Ashley "I just want to go home." When I wasn't a crazy woman out running errands, I was painting this treasure chest. At Partyland, treasure chests were $24. At Macey's, ice chests were $4. In my basement there was paint. Guess which one I chose?

I would actually recommend spray paint, but we didn't have any. I would have liked to decorate it with jewels, etc. etc. etc. But alas, I had to make cupcakes instead.

I have finally learned, after many years, that I need to make the cake the day before and frost it the day of. But what I didn't know is that gel icing doesn't stick to sprinkles. So, our little X marks the spots were actually out in the ocean, rather than on their Treasure Islands.

While I was busy inside, frosting cupcakes and getting other inside birthday preparations ready with Ashley (SHE WAS AMAZING!), Kevin and Andrew (THEY WERE AMAZING) were outside hammering and sawing and nailing and loving the project I had sent them to do. It was their job to make a boarding plank up to the front door, and a gang plank for a race in the back yard.

My pictures don't do it justice. The girls really had a lot of fun walking back and forth on this plank, and posing for pictures! Who knew girls loved pirating so much?

When the girls all arrived, I tied a girl pirate neckerchief around their necks, took their picture and sent them inside. They gave homage to Captain Emma here:

The one thing I didn't procrastinate-because it involved sitting at the computer-was making a CD of Pirate music which we used for our games (and to set the mood, of course). Our first game was Musical Islands. I had printed off 15 pictures of Islands and had Ashley tape them to the family room floor. When their number was called they chose a toy from my treasure pile. Then we played Squishy Fishy (Hot Potato). As they got out, they chose a little tootsie roll from my treat treasure pile. The winner got to keep the squishy fishy (which, by the way, was another purchase from the Beehive Boutique).

Then the girls went outside and had a "cannon ball" race. We split the girls into two teams and had them race along a plank to get all their "cannon balls" delivered to the other end of the plank. Then they played Sharks and Minnows. Emma was the shark and all the girls had to get passed her without being turned into sharks. You know the drill. Last minnow left is the winner (and got another dip into my treasures).

I didn't get pictures of those two games because I was inside with Ashley getting this set up (please ignore the messiness of my house and focus on the cuteness of the girls):

We didn't have room to have it set up when they came, so we had to transform the room while they were outside. I was also putting those darned X's on the cupcakes at that moment too. I had tried to do it earlier in the day but was surprised to find that I hadn't purchased the tips that go along with the gel decorators. I sent Kevin back to Walmart for the third time that day. What a man!

After cupcakes, we opened presents. Wow! Emma's friends were so generous and sweet! She was delighted with all her gifts.

And finally, we had a treasure hunt that had been created and put together by Ashley. I'm telling you, I could not have done this without my amazing family. She had them reading clues and guessing where to go next, and loving it. Here they all are, piled into my TINY laundry room, guessing where the next clue will be found. This one had been found in the dryer.

And here they are discovering the next clue.

And at long last, after being instructed to swab the deck, they found their treasure box under the deck, full of goody bags. Hooray!

It was a blast! But is the pirates life for me? Nope. Too exhausting!!

Love you Emma! Happy Birthday!!

Vinegar (without the fish and chips)

2010-05-10T21:50:00.000-07:00

Did you see this article about Vinegar on Shine.yahoo.com? It's nothing earth shattering but a few of the tips were new to me. I usually print this kind of thing off, it kicks around my house for a while, or I file it, and forget about it. So, I thought if I post it on my blog . . . .

The cleaning aisle at just about any grocery store is stocked with a dizzying array of options—and when it comes down to it, there are a lot of expensive, toxic, superfluous products crowding the market. Chances are, you already have one of the best, all-purpose cleaning agents in your pantry: white vinegar. As noted earlier, vinegar actually works as a great laundry booster, stripping away the chemical build-up that detergent leaves behind (and gets rid of clingy odors in the process). And beyond that, there are tons of other applications for the stuff around your home. Here, from vinegartips.com and frugalfun.com, 25 ideas for making the most of vinegar:

1. Deodorize the sink: Pour 1 cup baking soda, followed by 1 cup hot vinegar, down the drain. Let sit for at least 5 minutes, then rinse with hot water.

2. Deodorize the garbage disposal: Make ice cubes out of vinegar. Run the disposal with a few vinegar ice cubes and cold water.

3. Clean countertops: Wipe down surfaces with a rag dipped in vinegar.

4. Clean the fridge: Use a mixture of half water, half vinegar to wipe down the interior shelves and walls.

5. Remove soap build-up and odors from the dishwasher: Once a month, pour 1 cup of vinegar into an empty dishwasher and run the machine through its entire cycle.

6. Bust oven grease: If you’ve got grease spots on the oven door, pour some vinegar directly on the stains, let it sit for 15 minutes, and wipe away with a sponge.

7. To make old glassware sparkle: To get rid of the cloudy effect, wrap a vinegar-soaked towel around the glass and let it sit. Remove and rinse with hot water.

8. Get rid of lime deposits on your tea kettle: Fill the kettle with vinegar and let it boil. Allow it to cool, and rinse with water.

9. Remove stains in coffee cups: Create a paste using of equal parts vinegar and salt (or in lieu of salt, baking soda) and scrub gently before rinsing.

10. Treat Tupperware stains (and stinkiness): Wipe the containers with a vinegar-saturated cloth.

11. Remove stains on aluminum pots: Boil 1 cup vinegar and 1 cup water.

12. Deter ant infestations: Spray outside doorways and windowsills, and anywhere you see a trail of critters.

13. Clean can openers: Scrub the wheel of your can opener with vinegar using an old toothbrush.

14. Remove stickers or labels: Cover the sticker with a vinegar-soaked cloth. Let it sit overnight—it should slide right off by morning.

15. Shine porcelain sinks: A bit of vinegar and a good scrub should leave them sparkling.

16. Clean grout: Pour on some vinegar, let it hang out for a few minutes, and buff with an old toothbrush.

17. Clean the shower door: Spray them down with vinegar pre-shower, or post (after you’ve squeegeed the glass) to remove hard water deposits.

18. Clean a grimy showerhead: To get rid of scum, fill a Ziploc with ½ a cup of baking soda and 1 cup vinegar and tie it around the showerhead. Let it sit for an hour, until the bubbling has stopped. Remove the bag and run the shower.

19. Make a toilet sparkle: Pour in a cup or two of vinegar and let it sit there overnight before scrubbing with a toilet brush.

20. Polish linoleum floors: Add 1 cup of vinegar for every gallon of water you use to wash the floor.

21. Clean paintbrushes: Soak paintbrushes for an hour before simmering them on the stove to remove hardened paint. Drain and rinse.

22. Clean grills: Spray vinegar on a ball of tin foil, then use it to give the grate a firm scrub.

23. Disinfect wood cutting boards: Wipe down wood boards with a wash of vinegar.

24. Clean the microwave: Fill a microwave-safe bowl with 2 cups water and ½ cup vinegar. Heat it on full power for 3-4 minutes until it comes to a boil. Keep the door closed for a few minutes longer to let the steam fill the microwave, loosening the grime. Remove the bowl (carefully!) and wipe down interior walls with a sponge.

25. Polish patent leather accessories: Give them a rub with a vinegar-soaked cloth. Buff with a dry cloth.

Bodies

2010-05-05T00:24:00.000-07:00

For today's post I simply want to direct you to my niece, Anna. The blog post I hope you will read is found here.

In addition to her awesome post, I'd like to add my favorite quote from this last General Conference:

"For example, they [our daughters] need to understand that when they wear clothing that is too tight, too short, or too low cut, they not only can send the wrong message to young men with whom they associate, but they also perpetuate in their own minds the fallacy that a woman’s value is dependent solely upon her sensual appeal. This never has been nor will it ever be within the righteous definition of a faithful daughter of God. They need to hear this—clearly and repeatedly—from your lips, and they need to see it modeled correctly and consistently in your own personal standards of dress, grooming, and modest living." M. Russell Ballard

Have you had an experience sharing this true principle with your daughter or daughters? Or do you remember how it was taught to you?

and the livin' is easy?

2010-05-03T21:01:00.001-07:00

The count down to summer break has begun! Are you as D.O.N.E. done with school as I am? Time to hunker down and make it through these last four weeks. (Sorry my east coast friends who don't get out until, what, July??!)

This summer is going to be interesting with the age differences of my kids and all the different things going on . . . and all the different things NOT going on.

Andrew is in the marching band this year, has EFY (with his bestest childhood friend flying in from Boston to go with him), and Youth Conference. Marching band is going to keep him insanely busy all summer. Unfortunately, despite requests to be informed immediately when the Varsity Scouts settled on a date for the High Adventure, I found out too late that EFY and High Adventure fall on the same week. This will be the first summer in a long time that Andrew won't be participating in some sort of scout camp out/adventure thingy.

Ashley has Youth Conference, Girls Camp, EFY, and a trip to California with friends. At least there are no serious scheduling conflicts for her.

And that leaves Emma. I am suddenly remembering the days when Andrew and Ashley were young and the entire summer was mapped out, lest I go insane or they become bored. I have never had to do that with Emma because teenage kids kind of have their summers mapped out for them and Em was happy to go along for the ride. But that easy route is no longer going to fly. With A and A gone so much, I'm going to have to do something, right?

But what?

Pool passes? That would involve donning a bathing suit and beaching the whale. Of course, that's never stopped me before.

Day trips? I have no idea anymore what interests a seven year old. What do seven year olds want to do all summer?

I'm also remembering that I used to have my kids do chores and school work every day in the summer. Wow. I was really amazing back in the day. I wonder if I could muster up the ambition to do that again?

I'm forty-five. Do I have to?

I need help people. What will you be doing with your children?

Secrets of Adulthood (part 2)

2010-04-29T05:50:00.000-07:00

I really like most of the things on Gretchen Rubin's Secrets of Adulthood list. I've come up with a few things of my own I'd like to add.

Entropy happens.

Relax. You're doing better than you think.

Life is hard (but it doesn't suck). I can do hard things.

Old people feel younger than they are.

Everyone has something to offer.

Be open to learning.

Express gratitude.

If you don't like the way you're feeling, look up. (Thanks Kathy)

Adulthood

2010-04-27T12:28:00.000-07:00

The other day as I was reading The Happiness Project blog, I came across Gretchen Rubin's Secrets of Adulthood list. I have had it hovering in the back of my mind for two or three days. So, I thought I would share it with you here.

My Secrets of Adulthood -- each one changed my life, once I figured it out.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: Secrets of Adulthood.

What have I learned, with time and experience? Not much, I fear.

Here are my Secrets of Adulthood. Although these items may not seem particularly profound, each one was a revelation when I finally figured it out:

The days are long, but the years are short.

Someplace, keep an empty shelf.

Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.

It's okay to ask for help.

You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.

Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.

What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.

You don't have to be good at everything.

Soap and water removes most stains.

It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.

You know as much as most people.

Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.

Eat better, eat less, exercise more.

What's fun for other people may not be fun for you -- and vice versa.

People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.

Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.

If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.

No deposit, no return.

As I go throughout my day, I sometimes wonder "Would I add that thought to my Secrets of Adulthood list?" What would you add to Gretchen Rubin's list?

Discovery

2010-04-26T07:57:00.000-07:00

Climbing out of the van in the WalMart parking lot Emma said to me "Mom, I just realized that when you get out, the car raises up!"

This was a very exciting discovery for her.

For me, after that, the handful of peanut butter m&ms I had in my hand just didn't taste the same .

But, I still ate them.

The Created

2010-04-22T07:45:00.001-07:00

Years ago, I heard someone say we should worship the Creator, rather than the created.

When I got on the computer today and saw that Yahoo! has a little spinning earth icon to celebrate Earth Day, and that of course Google has an Earth Day picture on their page, I thought of this quote.

On Easter there was nothing. And Christians worldwide were criticized for complaining about it.

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for Earth Day and have done some serious Earth Day celebrating in my day. But in a way, I'm grateful for this reminder that, no matter how grand and wonderful the earth is, and no matter how much we rely on it for living, it is still the created. It, and everything on it, is still in the hands of its Creator.

And I, for one, am glad.

An easy way to help Haiti

2010-04-21T18:40:00.000-07:00

Remember my post about Home Sweet Home and the Utah Hospital Task Force that went to Haiti?

Because there is such a huge demand for health care in Haiti, this same group has set out to build The American Hospital of Haiti.

Their goal is to have one million mothers donate $12 by Mother's Day next month. They have started a non-profit organization called Million Mothers for Haiti which will soon have its own link on the Gift Haiti website. (Check out the Media Gallery while you're there. Amazing.)

Isn't that awesome?! I mean, most of us can spare $12 to build a much needed hospital, right? And don't you know a lot of women?

Anyone and everyone is welcome to be part of the Million Mothers for Haiti committee - the more women involved the better. So, if you would like to become involved, email the committee chair Jamie Preston at jsrcpreston at msn.

Emma Visits the Zoo

2010-04-21T13:50:00.000-07:00

The zoo is always nice on a rainy Spring day.

These are the girls that were under my protection, my umbrella as it were, for the day.

A beautiful Lynx sat two feet away from us, posing for this photo.

Don't you just love the tortoises? They are so . . . cool. Apparently, his mate thinks he's cool too because he got a little action after we left. Can't say I'm sad I missed that.

Do you remember when they had turtles swimming in the pond on the way to that Western Village thingy? I miss them. But here are some turtles (tortoises??) having some chow.

And a baby elephant and her mommy that I wanted to watch all the live long day. So cute.

And the piece de resistance, a mommy tiger and her three boys. I'm guessing they were much more fun to watch last year when they were just cubs. They all kept staring at this rectangle thing floating in the water. They would paw at it and even act like they were going to climb on and go for a ride, but then would just sit back down and stare at it. They were beautiful, and fun to watch.

The best part about this field trip was that I didn't have to ride the bus!! YAHOO! Maybe I like first grade field trips after all.

The Happiness Project

2010-04-20T08:53:00.000-07:00

My eyes are getting so bad I almost need glasses just to read my own posts. Oh, what the heck, I'll just use bigger type.

Have you heard of the Happiness Project? My dear friend Amy has said that she LOVED the book, so I checked out the author's blog.

I have found her Twelve Personal Commandments very fascinating so far (I haven't read them all yet). The first one, Be Gretchen, rung (rang? Help me Edna) so true to me that I think my mouth dropped when I read it. I had just been trying to explain this very thing to my friend Michelle a few weeks ago. The author, Gretchen Rubin, does a much better job.

And just because I haven't posted pictures in quite awhile (thanks Missy for reminding me that a blog post is always better with pictures), here are some pictures of our last minute Easter Egg Hunt.

We have a tradition of doing our Easter Baskets on Saturday so that Sunday can be all about the Savior and his Resurrection. So glad we did because we beat the snow!

When I realized that I had filled more than fifty eggs, I decided we needed to have some friends join us! I'm so glad because it was much more fun for everyone this way. Thanks to the Bacons for joining us last minute. . .

Can you say "Youngest Child"?

2010-04-14T18:30:00.000-07:00

After school, Emma wanted to go play with a friend instead of do homework and practicing. After very little begging, I caved and made her pinkie promise that she would come home for dinner when I called her and that she would do her homework and practicing without complaining. Not just pinkie promise, but look into my eyes while our pinkies were locked and say "I promise."

She came home when she was called. Hungry. Grouchy. Longing to be back outside.

We used the grill and ate outside. Hooray for Springtime!

The whole time we were eating dinner and lounging on the back porch, some of her friends who live right behind us were jumping on the trampoline. Beautiful sunshine, lots of fun and laughter. It was killing her. It was killing me. I'm a pushover.

I told her to hurry and do some homework and she could go play with them. But she had to promise she would do her practicing without complaining when I call her back in. She promised.

Who am I kidding? It's 7:30 and she's still out there, loving it. And I'm loving it.

Where have all my parental convictions gone?

The wind and the waves

2010-04-12T23:08:00.000-07:00

Before Spring Break we were sailing in rough seas and barely keeping our ship from going under.

During Spring Break the storms lifted and we docked on a sandy beach to regroup. It got old.

A day back at sea and the sails are up.

Steady as she goes . . . .

Everybody's a movie critic

2010-04-09T23:31:00.000-07:00

You know how movie commercials are -- sometimes they make the whole movie look like it's nothing but action and adventure. Then you go see the movie, and all the action and adventure it has was what you saw in the commercial.

I was secretly hoping that was the case with Date Night. I was hoping that they were "playing up" the crass parts. I thought with any luck, it would be at about the level of Get Smart. Mildly uncomfortable but manageable.

I was wrong.

While a good part of the movie was made up of the gut busting type of humor I expect from Steve Carell and Tina Fey, too much of it was reminiscent of a college party movie. It was over the top and self indulgent, even for Steve and Tina. Do full grown adults really find this stuff funny?

Awkward.

Which is how I felt during a good part of this movie.

Steer clear.

Two Days Later

2010-04-07T00:49:00.001-07:00

I wish I would have taken better notes during General Conference. There were so many times I thought "Hmm. I really needed to hear that." So often in fact, I started feeling a little overwhelmed.

Two days later, here's what's on my mind -- the things that are staying with me. Not direct quotes, but ideas.

I need to work with my children on the things I want them to accomplish. Especially Personal Progress, Duty to God and, yes, even housework.
As a woman/mother I need to focus less on how I need a break from my responsibilities and more on trusting in the Lord to help me measure up to them. (Can't wait for this talk to be published so I can get the actual quote).
Speak of the Savior more often.
It is urgent for me to step up my role as the mother, teacher and example in our home.
The seriousness of the times we live in is an inescapable reality. Families are our anchor.
It is as important to seek the influence of the Spirit in knowing what to pray for as it is in listening for answers.
There is a great need for each of us to stop thinking about what we wish we had and think more about how we can serve someone else.

After Conference, my sister and I were talking about service. She said that they (she and her husband) used to live their lives focused on when they would finally have money, finally be where they want to be in life, etc. Now, they have changed. Their focus is more on seeking for ways to serve.

What do you have that you can serve others with?

Time?
Talents?
Encouraging comments?
Laughter?
Temple service?

With what have you been abundantly blessed?

Some of the little things . . .

2010-04-03T17:00:00.000-07:00

I promised my next post would be all about the little things I love that I already have.

I've given it a lot of thought over the past few days and when compared to what is going on in other places all over the globe, everything around my home has started taking on a new sense of value. Like the toilet, my PILES of clothes waiting to be laundered, and my goodies cupboard. Truthfully my gratitude list should include absolutely everything I own or am privileged to experience -- whether it's beautiful, functional, practical, ugly, broken, useless or whimsical.

Since I didn't want to over stimulate anyone with lists and pictures of my microwave, my computer, and my car, I decided I'd post just a few things about my living space that I enjoy (which may also prove to bore you). I was amazed as I went around my house taking pictures (and might I add a disclaimer here that even though my camera is about ten years old, the plain truth is that my photography skills are pathetic) how much I have let things go over the past few years. I think in all my wanting, I've forgotten to appreciate and take care of what I already have. But, I've already given that lecture.

I love opening these blinds as I walk down the stairs in the morning, and closing them as I go up to bed at night.

Although Emma undid my curtains, my Holidays puzzle table is still set up, and the area is a MESS, this is still my favorite place to sit.

This is an old piano that we inherited from Kevin's parents. It's out of tune and beat up, but I am so grateful to have it. The sound of kids practicing is the only noise that doesn't bother me when I'm napping. The picture above the piano has special meaning to me as well. It is a copy of a painting by my grandmother, framed with some of the crown molding from the home I grew up in. It is a treasure. Thank you Chuck.

I love this Tempest In A Teapot Wind Chime given to me by my dear friend Heather. You can't see it very well in this picture and you might wonder why I have it hanging above my kitchen sink instead of outside. I like it there because I can see it and be reminded of Heather. Also, this is a very windy area and like I said before, practicing is the only nap time noise tolerated. It is made from antique silver spoons.

I like the arrangements on top of my kitchen cupboards. No particular reason, I just like them. (You might also think I really like my ceiling.)

I like metal signs.

I inherited this secretary from my mother when she passed away last year. I've always loved it and it reminds me of her. She always had it by her bedside -- open with lots of papers in a mess and with a pitcher of water.

This cactus planter actually belongs to my sister (I'm taking care of it for her). But don't you love it in this bathroom window? And these signs in my bathroom make me laugh.

I love the color I painted my front door and that in a month these planters will be filled with beautiful flowers that will require care. Looks like it's time to paint the planters too.

And last but very much not least, I love the mountain views from my home. A good friend once said that when things are looking ugly in Utah, all you have to do is look up.

Perhaps if I start recognizing the things I love, I'll be less discouraged about all the undone projects and unfulfilled dreams. Who knows, I might even get inspired to get back to work.

Home Sweet Home

2010-03-31T07:34:00.000-07:00

I often feel very discouraged about my house. I get discouraged that it isn't what I envision. I battle with how import it really is to have your home be aesthetically pleasing. How much is too much when it comes to spending time and money on your home? But, when I'm discouraged just by walking into my house, I know there must be something wrong. Either with me, or the house.

Most likely me.

I went to a fireside the other night given by the two men that headed up the Utah Medical Task Force that went to Haiti to give medical relief and bring 141 orphans back to their adoptive families in Utah and Idaho. I heard stories of despair, sadness and total loss of all things essential. And now the rainy season is beginning.

One young girl was released from the hospital after having one leg and one arm amputated. They simply wheeled her out to the street corner -- her new home. She had no home, no family, nothing.

I complain about my looks and my bad genetics. I'm grateful I can walk and that if I needed to, I could provide for myself.

A young girl laid a flat piece of cardboard down on the ground, went and got her little sister and they sat themselves down. This was their new home. Each other and that piece of cardboard is all they have in this world.

I have a family that, despite our oddities, is completely in tact. Not only are we all together, we are all together under one roof. We have a roof. And four walls. And a means with which to live. I complain about my ugly, thread bare carpet and yearn for hardwood floors. Compared to a square of cardboard, my carpet is suddenly perfectly lovely.

A young mother brought her baby in to be seen by the visiting doctors. She wanted to know what was wrong with her baby, who, to the trained doctor's eyes, was obviously starving to death. He asked how often the baby was eating and the mother said she nurses constantly. The doctor asked, "But when was the last time YOU had something to eat?" She said that she had had a spoonful of rice the day before. And before that? The last time this mother had eaten was before the earthquake (this was about two weeks into the disaster).

If I go without food for four hours, I start to get really nervous, and REALLY grouchy. I've NEVER had a bare cupboard or an empty fridge. And it shows. I've never known what it's like to simply be unable to physically nourish myself or my own child. I cannot even imagine.

I don't think God wants us to feel guilty about having nice things, or even for just having the necessities. But I do think he wants us to be grateful for what we have, take good care of it, and then sacrifice for the benefit of others. Give of what we have been given.

After hearing that fireside, and hearing that they are now raising money to build a hospital in Haiti, my sister thought "maybe I could turn off my cable T.V. and send that monthly payment to Haiti instead." Could you sacrifice your shows so that someone else could get medical care?

You think our health care sucks? Try living in Haiti.

As for my own home, my next blog entry is going to be about all the little things I love about what I already have.

Thinking About You

2010-03-30T16:51:00.001-07:00

Here's a little ditty for your listening enjoyment. I love his energy and his presentation. It's maybe too long, but worth the wait for the delightful ending. Girls/women always want to understand boys/men. Here's a little insight:

Thinking About You by Mike Taylor

Sixteen, You're Still Young

2010-03-25T21:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Mothers of Young Boys,

Do you know what you want to have happen with your boys before they grow up? Because, guess what? It's almost too late.

Andrew, March 1994

Andrew and I have always shared a love for the book Love You Forever, by Robert Munsch. All I have to say to him is "love you forever," and he gets it. This is not a picture of us reading that book, although that would be very cool.

Andrew and Helen, 1994

A mother held her new baby and
Very slowly rocked him back and forth,
back and forth, back and forth.
And while she rocked him she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
My baby you'll be.

From Love You Forever, by Robert Munsch

Andrew and Helen, March 1994

There are a lot of things that I wish I had done differently over the past sixteen years. I know, it's hard to believe I'm not a perfect mother, but it's true.

Andrew, Summer 2009

However, I am very happy about the relationship I have with Andrew. We really are buddies, and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

So, if developing a good rapport isn't on the list of things you want to have happen with your son, might I recommend it?

Happy Sixteen Andrew! Love You Forever . . .

Tunes

2010-03-24T18:25:00.000-07:00

Andrew and I heard this song the other day and both agreed that we LIKED it. I'm not a huge fan of music videos, they kind of ruin the tunes for me. But, here you go anyway.

And here's another one I quite like, but not the video. Well, okay, the video is kinda funny.

Michelle My Belle

2010-03-19T11:22:00.000-07:00

Because my dear friend Michelle commented on my blog today, I decided to dedicate this post to her and all of her awesomeness. This may cause our friendship to wane a little, but I'm willing to chance it.

Michelle, I love you with the passion of forty blazing super-novas. I didn't know what super-novas were until I met you. In fact, I didn't know what a lot of things were until I met you! You taught me how to love learning and how to survive college -- and even like it!

You also taught me that because we were already good friends, we didn't have to, and even shouldn't, do everything together because that might make others feel left out. You encouraged me to sit by others at church, room with others and reach out to others. That lesson has stuck with me through the years.

We got to know some awesome people in college. Remember our Sunday Evening get togethers? I'll never forget Glen and Jeanine singing Oh Danny Boy in the Mountain Meadow. And I'll just plain ol' never forget Larry (open your eyes Larry).

Jon and Swim Herschel Swim. Hmmm. Not sure what to say about this . . . . I suddenly feel like slam dancing.

But before all of that, there was Israel. And may I just say you looked like you were twelve. :-)

I have a lot more where this came from, but you get the idea.

No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen
the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded
of each other's worth.
-Robert Southey

Labels and St. Patty's Day

2010-03-18T07:42:00.000-07:00

My amazing niece Anna asked me how I make my labels. I wish I could say I have some cool, exciting way to label things. But, they are just Avery Mailing Labels with a little extra packing tape for good measure.

These are 2" x 4" labels (#18163).

These are 1/2" x 1 3/4" return address labels (#18167).

These are 1" x 2 5/8" labels (#08860).

Wouldn't it have been cool if I had chosen a font I love and always used the same one?

Thanks to Sharlene and Ruth Ann for a quick trip to the grocery store and ideas on what to make for St. Patrick's Day dinner.

This is what I had chilling in the fridge yesterday afternoon:

Rainbow jell-o to go with our St. Patty's day meal. That is one HUGE serving of jell-0.

I was going to top it with fresh whipped cream and stick a chocolate gold coin on top. As luck would have it, things got a little crazy while I was deep frying the green scone dough and trying to get Andrew and Ashley ready for two different concerts, at two different schools. So, we ended up spraying on whipped cream and we all had gold coins thrown down near our plates.

We made the green scones into Navajo Tacos, threw some limeade into the mix and rushed off to the concerts. Emma and I attended Ashley's choir concert at the Junior High, which was amazing and fun, then came home and made Shamrock sugar cookies (cuz I bought those dang things for St. Patrick's day and I was going to cook them ON St. Patrick's day). We also washed Emma's hair in the sink because although she had taken a shower before the concert, I learned that she had been forgetting to use shampoo -- for the last SEVERAL TIMES. Ew.

I got a call from Ashley who was at Roxberry with a hundred of her best and closest friends who all needed a ride home. I think eleven teenagers piled in my van. Those poor Roxberry employees.

When I got back from dropping them all off, I was too tired to finish cleaning up (but not too tired to eat several shamrock cookies). I started feeling discouraged as I went to bed because things had been so haphazard. But I ended up going to bed with a smile on my face.

And here's why.

Andrew plays percussion in the band and was repeating Arabic words and phrases OUT LOUD as I went to bed (it was pretty funny). Ashley sings in the choir and enjoys being with her wonderful group of friends. Emma was delighted with her rainbow jell-o, chocolate coins and even her green scones (she actually ate them Navajo taco style which I wasn't expecting).

Things are as they should be, and cleaning can wait.

Besides, all this mess gave Kevin something to think about when he got home after a LONG day's work. A puzzle to solve. It was funny helping him put all the pieces together as he tried to figure out what had happened while he was gone last night.

If I had to choose between my children having culture in their lives and having a clean and organized house, I'd choose the culture. I guess I already have.

Organizing Jar

2010-03-16T10:39:00.000-07:00

I L.O.V.E., love this jar from Ikea. I'm not sure why I love it so much. It might be the little bit of suction that happens when you pull off the lid. It might be that I like labeling things, and these are easy to label. It might be the little silver handle on top. I stare at them at Ikea, sure there HAS to be a reason for me to buy two in every size. Whatever the reason, they WORK for me . . .

in the kitchen . . .

in the bathroom (or Ashley's bedroom floor, as it were) . . .

and on the piano.

I have one empty jar left. What should I use it for??

I also love these Snapware containers from Costco. I couldn't find them on line. I hope they aren't discontinued, but with Costco, you never know.

Did you know?

2010-03-15T10:13:00.000-07:00

Did you know that God loves and values me even though I'm fat?

Ha! You laugh in my face, but it's true. I know, I know, you aren't laughing because it isn't true. You are laughing because you're thinking how silly of me to think he wouldn't love me despite being fat.

But then, what's your excuse? What is it you are doing that is so terrible you think God doesn't love and value you anyway? You know what it is. Here, fill in this sentence:

God doesn't love or value me because I _______________________________.

Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? That's because it isn't true.

How do I know that God loves and values me despite the fact that I __(fill in the blank)___? Because when I open my heart and mind to the idea, I can feel his love and I can feel the truth of how He feels about me. Try it.

Now, am I saying this gives me permission to indulge my weaknesses? Oddly, no. Because God loves me, and I can feel that I have value in his eyes, I want to turn to Him for help with my weaknesses. I want to be better. I want to be His kind of better.

God loves me because I'm His.

Watch this.

It's the Daddy's Job to Fly the Kites

2010-03-10T16:57:00.000-08:00

Emma bought herself a new ladybug kite today. I usually defer kite flying to the daddy. But, on this perfect day for kite flying, the daddy was (and still is) at work. On the way home from the store, Emma started in on wanting to fly the kite right when we got home. I kept telling her she would have to wait until I fixed dinner. I said "we'll see how it goes." (That's code for I really, really don't want to but can't think of a good reason why I can't right now.) Well, being Emma, she couldn't wait for me to fix dinner or come up with other excuses. I ended up helping her put the kite together in between draining noodles and sprinkling cheese. It was about a fifteen second job - somehow I survived.

She went out alone to try and fly her kite while I made dinner. At this point I thought maybe her sister could get off the couch and help with the kite flying (Was Cinderella watching The Mentalist, you ask? No, she was watching White Collar while her fairy godmother slaved over a hot stove). That also lasted about 15 seconds. Big sister came in claiming that it wasn't windy enough outside and that our yard wasn't big enough for flying kites. If you live in Utah, and you happened to go outside today, you'll know why I laughed out loud and in her face when she said it wasn't windy enough today.

Once I got the String Pie in the oven, I put on my Super Suit (aka my parka because even though it was forty degrees outside the wind was biting cold) and went outside to save the day. We had a blast getting that thing in the air and trying to keep it there. Although, I have to admit I was a little too snippy about Emma's inability to deal with the string. She kept getting it wound around things - mostly herself. It was fun enough to make me wonder why all these years I've insisted it's the daddy's job to fly the kites.

Friends Part Two

2010-03-10T11:56:00.001-08:00

Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person,
having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out,
just as they are--chaff and grain together--certain that
a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping,
and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.

-Dinah Mulock

Lynn and Julie (college roomies) and Chas (friend from Israel Group)

Michelle Benson, Heather Wix Emmett, Jeanine Bird Parker, Roger Anderson
Friends from all different times, coming together for BROWNIES!

Michelle Benson - Singles Ward Roommate

Roger Anderson - Don't these brownies make our smiles pretty?

Visiting Glenn Cooper (college friend) in NYC
(Did I think those white nylons and plaid shorts were attractive?)

Visiting John Berger (High School friend) in California

Hiking our beautiful Utah mountains with Heather and Gwen (Heather is taking the pic)

Making fun of Jeanine Bird Parker (college friend) for always making Jell-o

Pamela Holliday (Israel friend and college roomie), Jeanine Bird Parker (college roomie)

Berkeley Buddies Miriam Blackham Een (cousin) and Julianna Gee were my roomies.
They are the two on the back of the couch.

College friends Jon Armstrong and Michelle Stowel Laraway
(terrible picture, but the only one I can find of the three of us together)

Friends

2010-03-01T07:08:00.000-08:00

When Ashley graduated from sixth grade, I gave her a book called The "Official" Friends Book, by Martha Bolton. It's a darling book full of quotes and ideas about friendship. This morning, I found it sitting by the computer and I read this little poem.

Why We Need Friends
Without friends to laugh with, we become too serious.

Without friends to talk to, we become too introspective.

Without friends to cry with, we become cold and indifferent.

Without friends to work with, we become negative and self-pitying.

Without friends to listen to, we become self-absorbed.

Without friends to care about, we become apathetic.

Without friends to share new adventures, we become boring.

Without friends to call or visit, we become reclusive.

Without friends to hold us accountable, we become too self-reliant--and we fail.

Without friends, we become unfriendly.

I wish I had more pictures of my friends. I cannot imagine my life without them. I've been blessed with incredible friendships my whole life. The most wonderful thing about friends to me is that they look passed your weaknesses and help you remember all that is wonderful and good about yourself. Thank you friends.

Israel Group

Michelle and Sage

Heather

Andrew

Andrew and Jan
Emma and Ashley

Kathy, me, Camille, Jan and Liz

Kevin has a bit of a problem holding his eyes open in photos

Emma's breakfast of yummy goodness

2010-02-28T09:36:00.000-08:00

This is my new favorite fruit smoothie (thanks Alex Baugh). It is made with frozen Costco fruit, yogurt of your choice and grape juice. YUM!

Today we had it with this delicious, very fattening German Pancake. (Emma made most of this one-love cracking those eggs!)

German Pancake

Melt 3/4 cube of butter in a 9x13 pan. I do this by putting the butter in the pan and sticking it in
the oven while I pre-heat and blend the remaining ingredients.

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. (How do I make a little degrees sign?)

In a blender (Heather, here's an excuse to use your blender!), mix 1 cup of milk, 6 eggs, 1 cup of flour and 1/2 tsp salt. Pour on top of melted butter and bake for 25 minutes. Enjoy with syrup or fresh fruit or both.

No explanation necessary

2010-02-27T07:36:00.000-08:00

Me to Andrew: I did the Wii Fit today!

One of Andrew's cute young skinny super fit girl friends: I LOVE Wii Fit!

Andrew to me: How was it?

Me: I'm totally skinny and fit now.

Short pregnant pause.

Andrew to his friends: You can laugh at that.

A Younger Chore Chart

2010-02-22T10:47:00.000-08:00

Many of you have talked to me about the chores chart I made for my older kids. Today I came across this little treasure and I think I'll make my own version for Emma. I like it!

I like the jobs to be more specific and detailed. Emma is six and these are her jobs:

vacuum the upper half of the stairs
wipe the stairs handrail and light switches
dust the blinds on the stairs on both sides
clean the guest bathroom toilet bowl
wipe the outside of the guest bathroom toilet
clean off your hall shelf
put away toys, shoes and anything else that belongs to you

clean bedroom (see bedroom cleaning chart)

The girl is getting off easy I tell you (and my older kids would agree). The older kids don't have a chore chart anymore because they've done the same chores for so long we all have it memorized. They are really capable of increasing what they do as well. When I recommended Ashley make a Family Cookbook for herself she said "Why? I never cook."

It has become a given rule in our house that if I ask you to set the table or empty the dishwasher, you just do it (maybe that's why I haven't had any neighbors visit for a while). For a long time my older kids shared emptying the dishwasher. Andrew emptied the top and Ashley emptied the bottom. That just seems silly now, so they empty the whole thing when I ask. Emma isn't quite tall enough to put plates and things away on her own, so she is sometimes asked to put the silverware away. Admittedly, I need to get her doing more in the kitchen.

I haven't worked out the dirty dishes part yet. Whatever we try, doesn't work. PLEASE share your ideas with me. I know one friend that has a child do the dishes with her after dinner. I've liked doing that, but haven't been consistent. The reality is, success in this area lies with me. Sigh.

And don't even get me started on laundry. On second thought, someone needs to get me started, it's piling high.

Parent / Teacher Chats

2010-02-19T10:24:00.001-08:00

Going to Parent/Teacher Conferences is a love/hate thing for me. It always feels awkward walking up to the teacher because I never know what to say. There aren't usually too many serious problems with the kids, but I feel like I'm an irresponsible parent if I don't go. I know that I'll get a better sense of what's going on with the kids if I meet their teachers face to face and have a little chat. The problem is, with me, chats aren't best defined as little.

With all this in mind, I dutifully trudged over to the High School to have little chats with Andrew's teachers. For the most part, it was the usual thing. They showed me a print off of what I've already seen on Power School, telling me what still needs to be turned in. Oh, and by the way, by tomorrow, please. Don't they know by the time I've finished chatting with them all, there will only be ten minutes left in the day for him to get all these things done?

It's interesting how you can tell that some teachers know exactly who your kids are, and some have no idea and really do not care. Those that do know Andrew say, "He doesn't say much but he seems to be grasping everything that's going on just fine. He's a smart kid." Those that get Andrew say, with a slight detection of surprised delight, "I really enjoy Andrew. He's so funny!"

My most interesting chat this last conference was with the Arabic teacher. This was perhaps due to the fact that the man only teaches one class (shocker) and there was no one in line behind me. He was bored out of his mind. We discussed philosophies of learning a language and compared studying a language to learning an instrument. We discussed the four elements of Arabic grammar and the importance of having a good vocabulary base. Yet, as riveting as this all sounds, it was not the entertaining part.

The teachers all sit at tables around the periphery of the gym (excuse me, the Field House). The teacher sitting next to Mr. Arabic was a woman with a project. Unlike him, she had come prepared for the boredom. (I wish now that I would have asked her what she teaches.) She had a dark blue blazer of some sort on her lap that she was de-linting and de-pilling. She was also talking with the other teacher on her right.

Have you ever seen a fabric piller? It has rotating blades inside which, as you roll it across the fabric, cuts off those annoying little balls of fabric that magically appear on random articles of clothing. It makes a sound like an electric razor, but with a higher pitch. Prolonged exposure to this sound can be really annoying.

While we sat philosophizing about language, she de-pilled and de-linted and de-pilled again. After a while I started noticing Mr. Arabic giving little sideways glances toward this woman. He was partly curious, partly annoyed, but mostly baffled. This man, brown blazer (with no pilling), perfectly manicured nails (kinda creepy) and neatly trimmed beard (newly graduated from BYU so I can now have facial hair plus I'm all about Middle Eastern culture so I have to have facial hair) is an intellectual professional, after all. This talkative, female-power-tool-using-so-called-teacher, was ruining his one and only conference for the night.

Okay, she didn't really ruin it. And it wasn't like we couldn't hear each other, even the woman on his other side heard (and seemed to hang on) our every word. But, she made things mildly annoying and highly entertaining.

This whole scenario made my night! What's wrong with me?

All In A Day's Work

2010-02-17T10:37:00.000-08:00

When the Young Women at church discussed the need for helping out around the house, Ashley informed her teacher that I sit around and watch The Mentalist while she plays Cinderella.

On that note, I'm going to document yesterday's events. For posterity's sake.

At 7:00 a.m. I dragged myself downstairs to make breakfast and get the kids out the door only to be surprised by one of Ashley's friends, sitting at the breakfast bar. "Oh, hello cute skinny girl. Don't mind my electric shocked hair, make-up streaked face and bra-less fat self. I'll just be in here making breakfast for everyone."

Then came a knock at the door. Yet another good-morning, we need a ride to school early so we can talk to the math teacher, friend walked in the door. And she, by the way, had not had any breakfast. I informed her that no one leaves this house without eating first and that if she wanted to grow up to look like me she needed to eat before going to school. I shoved a piece of buttery toast at her (which she sweetly thanked me for) and sent them all out the door with Kevin. But not without first gathering everyone around the couch for family prayer. I have been informed by my teens that we are the only family on the planet that actually kneels down for this event.

Trying to put a little weight on Andrew, I made him four scrambled eggs with cheese, which he devoured without comment, probably due to said cute skinny girls in the kitchen. Then I made a bowl of Cream of Wheat (with plenty of brown sugar) for Emma, because eggs are "ew, yucky!" Then I made her lunch, got her dressed and drove her to school (still bra-less, still crazy hair).

At this point, I would normally sit down on the couch and eat bon-bons and watch crime shows. But alas, that was not to be. I checked email, showered, dressed and went out the door to volunteer in Emma's class. Then, off to a hair cut (by now I was wearing a bra). I then had lunch and my sister came over to show me her D.I. find - a Lazy Boy recliner in pristine condition. Thirty bucks! We caught up and solved all the world's problems while I cleaned the kitchen.

Much to my dismay, it was already time to pick Emma up from school. We came home and had an after school snack. (I don't know how all those groceries got in the fridge. Someone must have put them there while I was watching The Mentalist). While Emma read her homework to me, I fell asleep on the couch. Over the next half an hour, while I dosed on the couch and pretended I was listening to my amazingly good first grade reader, Ashley came home WITH same said cute skinny girls. Andrew also came home, with a different cute skinny girl. Snacks and how are you's all around (again with the amazing cupboard full of groceries that seem to magically appear whenever anyone or their friends needs a snack). They all watched Big Bang Theory together.

Since my life is not my own after 3:00, here's the fun part. I had to make dinner early for Andrew since he would be at the school from 5:00 to 7:30. So, I made some quick pasta with Alfredo sauce, gathered Emma from the neighbor's trampoline, took his cute skinny friend home, dropped him off at the school with a promise that I would be back to hear his solo performance at 5:30. Then I went home, sent Ashley's cute skinny friends home, and took Ashley and Emma to their piano lesson ten minutes early so that I could have time to make it back to see Andrew perform.

Just as I was driving away from the piano lesson house, Andrew sent me a text saying that he had already played his solo. He had to go early, so I missed it. I turned around and sat through an hour of piano lessons. I'm so proud of my girls - they're so cute!

When the lessons were over we piled in the van and headed back to the High School to hear Andrew's 7:00 ensemble performance. Kevin was there and we were all able to watch it together. Andrew was AWESOME. I'm so proud!

At this point, the kitchen was once again dirty and I had forgotten to ask Cinderella to put the food away.

I then called one of my other sisters. I guess the first sister and I hadn't really solved ALL the world's problems. There was still the problem of one sister's little court date this Friday. So, after taking care of that lovely bit of business, it was time to put Emma to bed. I gathered everyone together for scriptures and prayer. And yes, we knelt.

After tucking Emma in, listening to her read My Little Pony's Big Balloon Ride, and sitting by her for a little while, I returned to the rest of the family. We watched the Olympics for a short while until they all disappeared to their rooms for the night. I was the last one to bed and after my SPTs (scriptures, prayers, teeth), I conked out.

There were times I felt I was going mental, but THE Mentalist didn't make a showing. In fact, not a single murder was seen, on or off the screen.

The candy jar needs a refresh button . . .

2010-02-15T08:34:00.000-08:00

I'm completely stunned to find that the day after Valentine's Day, there are still a few chocolate hearts left in the jar!

It's too soon for Easter candy! What should we put in here next?

Chores

2010-02-13T15:58:00.000-08:00

Every Saturday we have chores drama. My kids have done the same chores the entire time we've lived in this house, and they still complain about it (and each other) every weekend.

I'll spare you the details of the drama.

In hopes of making sure everyone knows what I mean when I say "It's your week to clean the bathroom," I made this chart today. I've been meaning to do it for a long time. It is for cleaning the bathroom, a job Andrew and Ashley share. Hence, the drama. The white squares are for my signature.

I liked the idea so much, I went ahead and made this one for our bedrooms. Again there's a spot for my signature (or Kevin's).

I'll have to report back on whether or not it actually works.

Old Dog, New Trick

2010-02-03T08:25:00.000-08:00

For some people, meal planning, budgeting, shopping, using coupons and being frugal comes naturally. I'm not one of those people . . . at all. It takes tremendous effort on my part. One of the areas in which I've tried to improve is using coupons wisely. I consider last week's events a triumph!

I have a file for my coupons that I carry in my purse, and it actually has coupons in it. I jumped this hoop several months ago, and it really helped me start using coupons more regularly. But I still found myself fumbling through my coupons at the store, or forgetting to use them altogether. My organizer looks like this but it's blue and I've labeled the tabs.

Last week, not only did I cut coupons from the Sunday paper and file them . . .

I read the grocery store ads (see note), cut coupons and made my grocery list all at the same time. I checked for items on sale for which I also had a coupon. Then I put a cute little * by those items on my list. I paper clipped the coupons to my list (are you in shock yet? I was).

I put the list AND the coupons in my purse. I remembered to go to the store before the ads ran out. And most importantly, I remembered to USE my coupons once I was at the store.

Another witness that miracles never cease!

Note: If I get around to planning meals for the week, I usually plan my meals then go to the store and hope that something will be on sale to fulfill my plan. Duh. Who knew you could do it the other way around? Look at the ads, see what's on sale and make your meal plan from that. I told you I wasn't one of those people!

By Popular Demand

2010-02-03T06:33:00.000-08:00

In college I tweaked this recipe and made these cookies so often they became known as "Helen Cookies." They are a friends and family favorite. Watch out for the dough! YUM!

Helen Cookies

CREAM the following ingredients REALLY, REALLY WELL:
1 cup butter (softened)
3/4 cup white sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar (sometimes I just use all brown sugar)
1 Tbsp milk (or liquid of your choice, I've used soda before . . . weird)
1 - 2 tsp vanilla
2 eggs

ADD:
1 cup crumbled corn flakes or bran flakes
3 cups oatmeal
3/4 cup whole wheat flour
3/4 cup white flour
1 1/4 tsp baking soda
½ tsp salt
½ tsp mace
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/8 tsp cloves
2 tsp cinnamon

STIR IN:
4 oz. coconut
1 package milk chocolate chips (Giramond is my absolute fav!)
chopped pecans

Bake at 350 for ten minutes (adjust for your altitude and likeness)

The Weak and Wobbly Truth

2010-01-25T11:00:00.000-08:00

Over the past few months Emma has asked me several times if I would roller-blade or ice skate with her. I have had to decline, telling her the pathetic truth: My ankles and legs aren't strong enough anymore.

This morning we came across this old photo of Kevin and me with Andrew and Ashley . . . all wearing ice skates.

Emma said, "Who will skate with me?"

After she went to school, I broke my six month dry spell and got on the treadmill.

I Dreamed

2010-01-19T21:31:00.000-08:00

Remember that dream you used to always have as a child?

I had several. But there is one that I had most often, and remember most vividly.

The home I grew up in had a very long, straight staircase. In my dream I was always just reaching the top of the stairs, but having lost my balance somehow, I would grab for the handrail or the edge of the wall at the top to keep from falling backward down the stairs. My mother always stood at the top of the stairs, just looking at me. Not mean, not angry, just there. I felt desperate for her to take hold of my hand and pull me up. For some reason, she was either unwilling or unable to reach out and take my hand, giving me much needed help in regaining my balance and reaching the top in safety.

As an adult, I have focused on this part of the dream and how it describes so well how I felt in my life. But just this morning, as I thought about that dream for some unknown reason, I remembered the ever-present second half.

Since mom never reached out for my hand, and I was never able to grab the corner of the wall or the hand rail, I would find myself falling . . . and falling . . . and falling . . . and swinging . . . and floating . . . and flying . . . and drifting . . . and if I ever landed, it was gently and without incident. Never once did I tumble down the stairs, or break my neck, or even bruise my little finger. Rather, there was always some sort of invisible safety net that caught me and cradled me to safety.

I'm realizing now that this second part of the dream also tells the story of my life. Knowing that I couldn't save myself, and that for some reason my mother couldn't save me, God provided a safety net. I've lost my balance and my grip in life at least as often as I have dreamed that dream. Looking back, I haven't been climbing alone. And I thank God for it.

Mom's Redemption

2010-01-17T13:59:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling guilty for all the bad press I've given Ashley lately. Fortunately, she has given me an opportunity to redeem myself today.

For one of her Personal Progress requirements, she asked me to write a list of some of her good qualities.

Here's my list:

Some of Ashley’s positive qualities . . .

You are very observant of people’s feelings, moods and emotions.

You are smart and have the ability to learn things quickly.

You are funny and quick witted.

You are beautiful (not only outside, but inside as well).

You are sensitive to other people’s feelings and desire to be kind to them.

You are very giving–you like to give notes, gifts and kind words to others.

You are a hard worker and know how to get things done when you want to.

You believe in Jesus and you love your family. These are things that come naturally to you and they are gifts that not everyone has.

You are creative and have good ideas.

You are fun to be with on trips and doing things – you like to have a good time!

I love seeing you at the beach. You just seem to come alive and you really love it. It’s like you forget all your insecurities or doubts and just have fun. I love it when you are like that! :-)

I love you Ashley. This list is just a start of all the things good about you. I feel so blessed to have you as my daughter on this earth. Not only are you my daughter, you are God’s daughter, and that alone makes you special.

Does anyone have a spare Guillotine?

2010-01-14T21:43:00.001-08:00

Today I discovered that my teenage daughter "unfriended" me on Facebook.

Heads are gonna roll.

Making Meals

2010-01-11T18:21:00.000-08:00

I asked my family what they wanted for dinner this week. Kevin's response was "how about spaghetti? Good ol' fashioned spaghetti." Apparently he's forgotten how often we have that. But at least he had an answer other than his usual "what kind of leftovers do we have?"

I absolutely hate making dinner night after night after night. It's not that I don't like cooking, I really do. But I like it to be creative and fun and enjoyed by everyone. I want my efforts to be noticed. Do you ever feel like cooking is treated like breathing? People just expect dinner to happen like they expect breathing to happen. But if you breathe the wrong thing out onto the table the complaints are endless. "EWWWWW! "

Anyway, I decided to take Kevin up on his spaghetti suggestion, but I had to put a little umph into it. Here's what happened.

And no one complained.

Yesterday I made my sister's pork chops in a crockpot recipe. Put carrots in the bottom of the crock pot, put pork chops on top, season them with salt and pepper and whatever other seasonings you like on pork (rosemary, garlic, mustard, whatever you like), then pour pineapple on top. Cook on low for seven hours. Not the best thing I've ever made, but it was different, easy and pretty tasty.

Teenage Perspective

2010-01-05T09:19:00.000-08:00

Ashley was late for school today . . . again.

I drove her to school and as we were driving I looked around and said "This is January. Gray and cold and smoggy. But you know, I was filling out the calendar for the year and as I got to May and June I realized SPRING WILL COME! This all really will pass and it will be Spring again! And we will appreciate it that much more because we had to live through this."

And here was the reply from my 13 year old: "Spring is just the same. It's still cold and I have terrible allergies and it's still ugly. Fall is the same. I hate every season but summer. Summer is warm."

Even though the day was gray, and the attitude was black, I knew that she heard me.

Everything I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Church Today

2010-01-03T22:22:00.000-08:00

A list of my favorite things about church today (in no particular order).

1. 11:00 start time (we were still a little late but I take consolation in knowing it wasn't my fault).

2. Watching Justin pass the sacrament.

3. Reading Emma's story she wrote during church (I had been feeling like I failed her on New Year's Eve because it was just the two of us right up until midnight when Kevin pulled in the driveway honking his horn. Emma kept asking why we weren't having a party or doing something fun. I guess she liked it anyway!). *see the interpretation below (but notice how she hyphenated the word "me")

4. Jeremy's testimony.

5. Two freshly baptized eight year old girls, dressed in white, curls bouncing and swaying as they walked up to the front of the chapel.

6. Andrew and Ashley sitting next to each other for over an hour and no blood was spilt, no tears were shed.

7. Watching Stella scurry around the gym. She's agile, she's strong, she's beautiful.

8. Watching Todd make the effort to stand and share his testimony, hearing his testimony, sustaining him as a primary teacher.

9. Laughing and talking with friends/neighbors before going into Sunday School. I really needed that.

10. Feeling the Spirit flood the room as Kengie opened our Relief Society meeting with prayer.

11. Sharlene's testimony of God's love for each individual.

12. Hearing about each of my children's new teachers and knowing they are in good hands.

* Emma's Story
Jan 2010
On New Year's Eve, me and my mom counted 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0 then it was 2010! We got pans and spoons and banged them together! No one heard us (that's what she thinks) so we went inside and the Arbons came out but we didn't hear them. Then I went out and the Arbons didn't hear me. So I went inside and me and my mom (and by now Kevin was there) had some sparkling apple juice. It was yummy!! My mom put me to bed. I woke up and I could take my earrings out!!! (She got them pierced six weeks earlier. Being able to take them out and wear different ones was almost better than Christmas). I put new earrings in!!!! I was really excited! So I showed my dad. He was really excited too. I kept on touching them. I had breakfast and then I got dressed. I was happy! It was fun!!!!

A new idea

2009-12-19T09:03:00.000-08:00

My friend gave me an idea to write about my life and how my faith has helped me through it. That got me thinking about the Articles of Faith. I wonder if I could come up with an example from each of the Articles of Faith. Maybe I'll give it a try.

I still wonder a great deal about privacy and exposing people that I know and love and the things that have happened to us/them. How do I tackle this?

All I Want For Christmas

2009-12-14T08:29:00.000-08:00

Because Andrew keeps telling me more and more things he wants for Christmas, I asked him to write me a list.

Silly me expected a traditional written list of desired items.

Instead, I got this.

Does anyone else find this comical? It's cool, but tickles my funny bone at the same time.

And by the way, I have purchased exactly none of those things to this point.

Ho Hum

2009-12-11T10:35:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to remember what my existence felt like before my mom died. It's not that my life was wrapped up in hers or that we were even very close. I knew her death was coming and I think I was as prepared for it as was possible. And while I miss her and feel the lack of her presence quite keenly, I'm okay with her death.

It's just that starting in August my life became consumed with caring for her, then it was consumed with her funeral, then it was consumed with estate arrangements and family drama. All the issues are not yet resolved; the condo is still for sale and my sister still needs a new place to live. But the daily stress and daily drama have receded.

Through all of this, I've been depressed. Maybe a better term would be downtrodden. Just sort of trudging through it all. I'm starting to feel ready to move on, the fog is clearing and I want to function normally again. The problem is, I can't remember what that's like or what I did with myself. I can't find any motivation or any spark. My mind knows what kind of things I could do to pull myself out of the dulldrums (how do you spell that word?), but my heart just isn't into it.

If I Were A Rich Man

2009-11-10T22:38:00.000-08:00

My mother ALWAYS made pancakes on Saturday Morning. These weren't just any old pancakes, but the best darned buttermilk pancakes you ever tasted! Typical of a mother of eight, I don't recall her ever eating them - although I'm sure she did. I only remember her standing at the counter cooking batch after perfect batch on her electric griddle.

I also vividly remember my father walking into the kitchen on one of these said Saturday mornings, arms in the air, stomping one foot at a time, shaking his very large belly and singing "If I were a rich man . . . All day long I'd diddle diddle dum . . . ."

I'm thankful that in my childhood we watched, listened to (on 8-track mostly), sang from and made up dances to every musical we knew existed.

With his six lovely daughters, two incredible sons and his beautiful wife, my father was, in fact, a very rich man.

A Seasonal Affair

2009-11-08T18:18:00.000-08:00

I really love fall. The fact that we've been having an incredible fall this year only adds to my lifelong love affair with Autumn. The temperatures have been blissful, the colors have been brilliant and emotionally fulfilling, and the Autumn harvest of all things pumpkin, squash, apple and cocoa related transcend anything we will find in the months to come. I want to wrap myself in its coziness and absorb as much Autumn goodness as is humanly possible, in hopes of gaining extra powers of endurance for the winter that undoubtedly lies ahead.

Since my intent this month is to write things I am thankful for from my childhood, my mind wanders through crisp, crunchy fall leaves of various shapes, sizes and colors. They blanket an acre of lawn once shaded by branches covered in lush shades of green; branches now skeletons of their former selves. From then until now I still hear the same call when I walk past an area covered in fallen leaves. "Come play with us. Come rustle us. Crunch and toss and roll in us. Let us be your blanket . . . we don't want to go . . . Come play with us." As a child I listened while I played Red Rover, and while we gathered leaves in a pile that would be perfect for jumping in to. I listened when I walked through the back yard on my way to school. I listened on the playground and on the sidewalks and on the driveway. I didn't want them to go either, so I listened and I played.

As I grew older, fall became about new clothes, school supplies and love interests. It became about crisp cool air and beautiful colors on the mountainside. It brought Conference Weekend, drives through the canyons and walks in the rain. It even brought anxiety over classes and roommates and dating. But it has always been welcome and even invited because how can a person survive winter without first being wrapped in the blanket of fall?

I'm thankful for childhood memories of fall.

A month for Gratitude

2009-11-06T09:07:00.000-08:00

Denise gave me the idea of writing down things I'm thankful for during the month of November. Since mom died, my thoughts have been swallowed up in memories of my childhood years. I have a hard time thinking positively when it comes to my childhood. So, perhaps I should think of things I'm thankful for that have to do with my childhood and my family.

I'm thankful that when I was ready to turn my life around I knew that reading the Book of Mormon would be the way to find strength enough to make very difficult changes.

I'm thankful for my testimony of the Book of Mormon.

Down the Lane

2009-09-24T08:26:00.000-07:00

Twenty blocks east and fifty-seven blocks south of the Salt Lake Temple, down what seemed to be a long gravel drive, stood the house I grew up in. The house I shared with seven siblings, my parents and all who visited and fell in love with its charm. They don't make them like they used to.

As a three year old, I stood looking out what would become my parent's bedroom window. I saw trees and grass and what would become my playground. There was a feeling of excitement and playfullness among us younger four. This magical place would soon become our home. It stood tucked away among tall elm, walnut, oak and pine trees. And lilac bushes as big as trees. While neighborhoods were built up around it, it stood alone, secluded, grand, mysterious and protective.

Built in 1930, the home had beautiful hardwood floors and tall ceilings wrapped in Tahitian Mahogany. The doors were solid wood and the knobs made of cut glass. Three fireplaces stood ready to warm us when things turned cold. Despite all these grand additions, it still maintained the feeling of being just an old farm house. A farm house that once served many acres of surrounding land. When we moved in, the home sat on just about an acre and a half of land. There was an old wooden horse barn, a big old free standing car garage and a rather large shed which later became the chicken coup. Attached to the garage was a tack shed and a little room with a small gate where trash was kept until garbage day. I can still remember what that room smelled like when I took out the trash, never knowing what rodents might scamper across my path. Dad and the boys then had to find a way to get all that trash to the top of the lane for pick up.

We kept horses, a goat, chickens, rabbits, birds and a variety of different dogs. On the other side of the house was a pond with goldfish (the large outdoor type). There was a little fountain in the middle of the pond, but it was all very small. Maybe four or five feet in diameter with a metal pole that came up through the middle and sprayed water out the top. I think the poor fish froze the first winter we were there. The little pond was surrounded by a stone patio and a tall stone fireplace. In the fall we would pile leaves and jump into them from off the top of the fireplace. There was a lovely willow tree with beautiful drooping branches. Unfortunately, those same branches were used as switches more than once!

A flagpole stood out by the lovely rose garden. A pine tree that looked like a witch's hat that you could climb underneath made the perfect fort (despite the pine needles). The wooded areas were covered with myrtle and in the area just east of the house there were two ceramic deer that lay in the myrtle. We learned early on that when the myrtle was in bloom you could pluck a flower and suck on the stem for a little taste of honey.

The house itself held three large bedrooms upstairs, an attached garage, and maid's quarters, or what we later called "the apartment" to the side of the garage. The apartment had a kitchen, living area, stairs, two bedrooms and a bathroom. We had a few renters there in the beginning, but that didn't seem to work out too well. So, my three oldest sisters used it for their own rooms. The brothers shared "the blue room" in the main house, my two sisters and I shared "the pink room" and our parents were in the room with the two closets and a fireplace with a tiny window that looked out through the chimney onto the backyard.

The house our family lived in before was on Bruce Street in Olympus Cove. It was a more modern home with plenty of storage. At first, mom didn't like this home on Highland Drive - but she worked hard to make it a home.

I don't know who else lived in the house, or visited it. I don't know who the orginal owners were that built the home and owned the land. I don't know what other children played and laughed and hid in its secret closets and cubbies. I don't know if other children crept down the stairs on Christmas Eve to peek through the opening in the stairway, hoping to get the first glimpse of what Santa brought. I don't know how many children warmed their toes by the fire, placing their cups of hot cocoa on the marble in front of the fire. Or, how many girls sat alone in their spacious bedrooms, listening to the trees scratching the sides of the house, counting the seconds between flashes of light and cracks of thunder. Or, who, if anyone retreated to the tall grasses by the canal to look up at the clouds in the sky and relish that rare moment of being totally alone. Did anyone else sit on the the front porch with a cousin, discovering the joy of fresh strawberries dipped in powdered sugar? Did anyone else grow up with scars on their knees from playing and falling on the gravel drive one too many times? Had other children slept outside in the summertime? Did other families before us have wedding receptions and baby blessings shaded by the backyard trees? Had other couples grown old and apart within its spacious walls?

My parents owned the home from 1967 to 2005 when it was sold to developers and torn down. I cried. I still dream about the home down the lane on Highland drive . . . and what it could have been.

That home stood protecting our family from the outside elements for nearly forty years. It provided a resting place, a gathering place, a home. It was often filled with people, with laughter, with sadness, with anger. If those walls could have talked, what wondrous and terrible stories they would've told. It provided our family with protection from the outside elements. Yet, it also proved to be the perfect distraction from what was really going on down the gravel lane on Highland Drive.

Emma's like, way funny

2009-09-24T07:44:00.001-07:00

For about a week now, Emma has been trying to think of words that sound the same but mean different things. What's that called? Anyway, she has come up with some of the basics like two/too/to and hear/here and heal/heel. When she thinks of one, she always uses them in a sentence to give me an example. Yesterday she came up with my new favorite. She said "Like! I like Alisha and I'm like going to the mall."

2009-09-22T09:16:00.001-07:00

HOLY COW! My computer magically lets me back into my blog now. How did that happen?

Dirty Laundry . . . Literally

2009-03-04T18:24:00.000-08:00

I went to IKEA with Deloris just for fun. She was going in hopes of finally finding some organizing solutions for her home (the never ending quest). We were on a tight schedule so we breezed through pretty quickly, which is easier said than done.

For years I've struggled with LAUNDRY (dun, dun, duuun). I hate it. My closet floor is always piled with laundry. The kids have hampers in their rooms, overflowing. The kids' bathroom has a two sided hamper from IKEA - one side for Ashley, one side for Andrew. The hampers and closet floors fill up with laundry while I imagine away the day, avoiding the inevitable . . . SORTING.

While we were shoving Swedish Fish down a two year old, we passed by the laundry section. I showed Deloris all the different hampers but she insisted she knew exactly what she wanted. Have you seen those free standing hampers that are only 3.99? She wanted enough of those to put in the kids' bathroom so they could, get this, SORT THEIR OWN. Earth shattering, I know.

A few days later, I returned to IKEA, and along with more Swedish Fish and some chocolate, purchased SEVEN little free standing hampers. There are three in the kids' bathroom. One for darks, one for brights and one for the warm wash. There are four in my closet (where the other, ever overflowing one used to be). One for whites, one for warm wash, one for darks and one for brights. (Picture me with my hands in the air singing opera at this moment.)

There is a load in the wash right now. It sounds so musical. Chunka, chunka, chunka.

Okay, it takes up a lot of room. But it is SOOOO worth it. I can just grab that little hamper and throw in a load.

I should have included SORT in my last post about four letter words.

Deloris, I will love you forever.

Bad Word

2009-02-26T10:29:00.000-08:00

As I was putting Emma to bed she said she had heard a bad word and she wondered what it meant. However, she was too embarrassed and scared to tell me what the word was. I assured her she wouldn't get in trouble and that she would feel better after she told me what the word was.

I was able to get out of her that she had heard it on a walk with her cousins the other day. This surprised me some, (especially when I heard it was Kendra that had said "the word") but I was a good mommy and just acted natural. "Just tell me what the word was sweetie."

Finally she told me the word started with an 'F.'

"Okay . . . well . . . what does it rhyme with?"

She giggled and wiggled around and when I suggested it rhymed with "luck" she laughed out loud and said "NO!" (Silly mommy, what does that have to do with anything?) I couldn't hide a slight sigh of relief.

She finally started sounding out and spelling the awful word she had heard.

f . . . e . . . o . . . s . . . a

HUH????

She broke down and just said the word:

fiance . . . giggle, giggle, giggle, what does that mean mommy????

Kendra and Graham: May this be the beginning of a beautiful relationship!!

This morning Emma asked somewhat of an easier question: What is a Flower Girl?

Can't Tolerate Intolerance?

2009-01-12T09:19:00.000-08:00

I consider myself a fairly tolerant parent. However, there are a few things I simply do not tolerate. They are the basic things you would expect.

Ashley has to tolerate Andrew's sense of humor, but she does not have to tolerate him hitting her. All of my children must tolerate their elders, but do not need to tolerate anyone who belittles or abuses them in any way.

Because my children are allowed to have a limit to what they will tolerate, that does not make them intolerant. Are people who don't tolerate swearing, or lying, or adultery considered intolerant? What makes it socially acceptable to tolerate some things and not others?

When it comes to gay marriage, it seems that the ultimate jab is "How can you be so intolerant? Everyone deserves tolerance! Two consenting adults should be able to do what they want."

Every person deserves tolerance. Not every behavior deserves tolerance.

In what way does toleration (legalization) of gay marriage harm society or its members? If God is our parent (and he is), what behavior is intolerable in his children? Have we forgotten that marriage was divinely instituted? Perhaps there was a reason for that. Where does God draw the line on what he will tolerate? Where do we as human beings, living on this earth created for us, draw the line? When do we stop, stand firm and say "if God does not tolerate this, neither do I"?

What about those who believe that God does tolerate gay marriage? I mean, he is a loving God and wants us all to be happy, right? What about those that don't believe there is a God? What about tolerating the idea that this is just between all of us humans putting up with each other and our different beliefs and behaviors? Does the fight against gay marriage have a leg to stand on?

Yet, are we tolerating the rights and privileges of those who do believe God has a part in this mix? How does legalizing gay marriage show intolerance for those people? How are their rights and privileges being affected?

I don't have the answers to all these questions. But I do know one thing: I'm okay with being labeled intolerant. There are a lot of things I don't tolerate because I believe they are damaging to me, my family, and/or our society. As for me and my house, we will keep trying to draw the line where God draws the line. And keep trying to tolerate those who don't.

"Santa, come back!"

2008-12-29T08:48:00.000-08:00

Last night, Emma set out as many things for Santa as she could possibly think of in hopes of getting him to come back again.

She simply won't believe me when I tell her he is on vacation right now and won't be coming back. "Stop saying that mom! I'm going to get him to come back . . . maybe."

She got the carrots for the reindeer, the cookies and milk, notes and letters and put her shoes under the tree. She pulled off all the Santa ornaments from the tree and set them around the cookie plate--summoning the giant elf. As she was getting her pajamas on I could hear her reciting, in a sweet whisper, "please come, please come, please come."

Reality is harsh after the fantasy of Christmas!

This morning she wasn't as upset as I expected when she found he hadn't returned. She simply got our stuffed Santa, sat him down by the cookies, and pretended. "Mommy, be really quiet, don't make a sound. Santa is here!"

No reality is too harsh for those with an outstanding imagination.